Page 54 of Tye

“My Grandma is called Evelyn. She was loved by my Pops, her dad, and was adored by her friends and family. But an evil man, we’ll call him Asshole, he kidnapped her when she turned sixteen. For years, he held her captive and raped and beat her. During that time, she had six kids. Three boys and three girls. He got tired of raping her after the last baby.

“Asshole kept them locked up for years. He wasn’t interested in the girls; they had no worth for him. Grandma looked after the children and homeschooled them. Despite being a kid herself, she did her best to educate them.

“Asshole turned up every so often to take the boys and try to mould them into his shadow. But they had too much of their mom in them, and they plotted and planned behind Asshole’s back.”

I held McKenna’s eyes and noticed she was still listening, so I continued.

“Then the eldest boy saw a heinous crime. He saw Asshole rape a young girl child and knew his sisters would be next. But he was too late. Asshole had raped his own daughter and got her knocked up. The boy got his sisters and his mother to safety, pretending they had died and then, over the years, he got the rest of his family out.

“Mom gave birth when she was twelve. A mere baby herself. She laboured at home with a midwife attending. Grandma didn’twant anyone knowing about how Mom got pregnant. Pops had bought a ranch and moved everyone there.

“See McKenna, Pops searched for his missing daughter. It nearly broke him when he discovered what had happened to her. The worst thing was he had called Asshole brother. And Asshole had taken Pop’s child and abused her terribly and for years.

“I, more than anyone, understand rape and how it destroys. I live with the consequences of it every damn day. Daily I look at its reflection in the mirror and wonder how the hell Mom can love me like she does. A mother’s love is unfathomable, it’s sacred if a baby is born of normal circumstances.

“But a twelve-year-old mother who was raped? How does she move past that and adore her child? That’s a question I’ve wanted to ask her, but I daren’t. I am too terrified of her answer. Not because I’m unloved but because I am. It takes a strong woman to do what Mom did. Every time I say or do something, I wonder if I remind her of her father. Does she ever consider that we share a dad?

“There’re questions. They don’t leave me alone. What if my uncle had got them out quicker? Why didn’t Mom abort me? How did Grandma cope knowing her rapist had also raped their daughter? Sometimes, McKenna, despite being surrounded by love and acceptance, it eats me. The guilt of what happened to Mom isn’t mine, but it feels like my fault.”

I stopped speaking and drew in a deep breath. McKenna watched me, but her face wasn’t expressionless anymore. What her expression meant, I wasn’t sure.

“At night, when we’re alone and our nightmares attack, I wonder if Grandma and Mom see the asshole. What if they check under the bed to see if he’s waiting? And what makes everything worse? I know there was another child out there made from his raping.

“Ice’s father, Drake, has a half-sister, Carmelle. Carmelle’s mother was Asshole’s granddaughter. Her grandmother was raped by Asshole and gave birth to a daughter. Asshole threw them both away. Miranda, the child, had Carmelle, who is Asshole’s granddaughter, and that makes her my niece and my cousin.

“Want to hear something really fucked up? My mom is my sister and my mother. Uncles are also my brothers. My cousins are my nieces and nephews as well. Carmelle is my niece and my cousin. He’s not only my dad but my grandfather, too. How the hell do I explain that to anyone? My family made a conscious decision to treat me as if my father was someone else, and they gave me the roles of daughter, niece, cousin. I was lucky, McKenna. But it’s a real head fuck, isn’t it?”

McKenna nodded once.

“You got gang raped, and that breaks my heart. Do not let them take anything else from you. Don’t let Asshole screw your mind up like he has mine. Usually, I can deal just fine with it, but sometimes, in the dark, it comes for me. The fact I’m an inbred freak. On those days, I want to curl up and die. End it and stop my mother’s suffering when she looks at me. Of course, that’s my mind talking, undermining me. Mom loves me unconditionally, but our minds play nasty tricks on us.

“I haven’t been raped, McKenna. But I know the consequences of rape. My head has been violated like your body, and there’re memories and images I can’t escape. They’ll never leave me like your experience won’t leave you. But I cope with leaning on the people I love. Maybe you can, too.”

McKenna continued to stare at me as I faded away.

“Say his name,” she mumbled suddenly, surprising me.

“Fury.”

“They held me down. Laughed. Told me they knew who I was, and I was going to send a message,” McKenna whispered.

“Give them one. Just like I do every day, I refuse to think of him.”

“Stay with me,” McKenna asked. “I don’t want to talk.”

McKenna reached out a hand, and I clasped hers. She turned her face away again, but she was interacting with me. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and twisted my head.

Standing in the slightly open doorway was Marissa with her hands over her mouth and tears streaming down her face.

Behind her stood Davies, whose eyes blazed at me. He nodded in gratitude at me and quietly shut the door, leaving McKenna and me to our pain.

Chapter Twelve.

Demi

When I left McKenna’s room an hour later, we’d not said another word to each other. I stopped on the threshold and turned to face her.

“Would you like me to come back?” I asked.