Page 30 of Out of Nowhere

Logan smiled. “If it’s within the month, I don’t see a problem with you both being gone for a week. Now, if it were next month, there’d be no way. Our schedule’s full. I’ll run it by West and Jase today.”

“Thanks.” Seo-jun paused. “Dex thinks I’m going with him because I need a break, not because I think he needs me there.”

“I get it. No worries.” Logan paused. “What about the flight?”

As Seo-jun’s boss, he was one of the few people who knew of Seo-jun’s fear of flying. He’d admitted it to them when they’d recruited him for the job and assured them that it wouldn’t affect his performance, no matter how many flights he was required to take. Because of that and the fact that Seo-jun had backed up his words with his actions many times over the past couple of years, he gave Logan a questioning look.

“I mean, sitting next to Dex on the flight might clue him in on your problem.”

Seo-jun sighed. So far, he’d managed to avoid embarrassment with his colleagues by taking separate flights when they werepaired on assignments too far to drive. He couldn’t do that with Dex.

“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

With a nod, Logan finished drying off and Seo-jun went into the house. Lord knew, he didn’t want to have a full-blown panic attack in front of Dex. Normally, when faced with a flight longer than a couple of hours, Seo-jun took a prescription subscribed by his doctor that relaxed him enough that he could get through takeoff without losing it and then sleep through most of the flight and, ideally, the landing, which was almost worse than the rest put together. On shorter flights, he just had to bear it, face turned toward the window and eyes clenched shut, his fingers digging so hard into his thighs, they left bruises.

Seo-jun couldn’t sleep through the four-and-a-half hour flight with Dex there with him, and if he managed to stay awake, he wasn’t sure he could hide how loopy the pills made him. But he was equally positive he wouldn’t be able to conceal his anxiety from Dex. The fear that came over him was real, no matter how many times he told himself that traveling in an airplane was safer than doing so in a car. It wasn’t rational, and it wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he tried to will it to.

He could invent a reason to take a later flight than Dex, but his entire motive for going on the trip was to be there for him. Not just for the part where Dex visited his sister, but the entire trip.

That left the choice of admitting his fear to Dex, who, he knew, would understand. But Seo-jun wanted to be the rock Dex could lean on during this trip, and freaking out over something that millions of people did all the time without issue was not going to cast him in that role. His father had always said that a man should never show his weakness, and, although the adult Seo-jun knew better, he still couldn’t shake the thought.

Coming to no solutions he was happy with, Seo-jun decided to continue with his plans and worry about the details later.He had some errands to run, and since he didn’t see Dex when he went upstairs, as soon as he got into his car, he texted him that their trip was a go as long as it happened within the month. While he waited for a reply, he scrolled through flights to California. A couple of minutes went by before Dex texted him back, saying that that was great and thanking Seo-jun for asking Logan for him. And was he sure he wanted to go? Seo-jun replied that he definitely was sure, and that there was a flight from Norfolk International to Fresno Yosemite International early Wednesday morning. With Dex’s okay, he booked it along with a rental car and a hotel.

That task completed, Seo-jun headed out on his errands, feeling lighter, although he still didn’t know how he was going to handle his anxiety about flying. But as there was no way he was passing up this opportunity to be there for Dex, he would just have to find a way to get through it.

Chapter Nineteen: Dex

Seo-jun had been acting strangely ever since they entered the airport, and now that they’d boarded the plane, Dex was certain something was wrong. He seemed so agitated, almost nervous, like maybe…Wait. Could Seo-jun be afraid of flying? It seemed unlikely since he had to fly periodically for his job, but the way he’d been fine one minute and then tense and agitated the next pointed in that direction.

“Are you all right?” Dex asked when they’d stored their carry-ons above their seats and settled in.

Giving Dex a wary look, Seo-jun asked, “Why do you ask?”

“You seem tense. Do you not enjoy flying?” When Seo-jun didn’t answer, Dex added, “Many people don’t. I don’t mind it, but I don’t exactly enjoy it, either. I aways get a little antsy when I have to fly.”

Seo-jun’s jaw tightened, and Dex decided to drop the subject. But when the announcement was made to buckle their seatbelts, Seo-jun’s hands shook.

Reaching over, Dex clasped Seo-jun’s right hand. “Hey. It’s okay.”

When Seo-jun met Dex’s gaze, his eyes held so much fear, Dex tightened his grip. He’d never seen Seo-jun look like that before.

“You’re afraid of flying, aren’t you?” Dex asked, voice only loud enough to be heard over the accelerating engines as the plane started to move into position. When Seo-jun dipped his head in assent, Dex loosened his grip, planning on adjusting it so their fingers were laced together. But Seo-jun evidently though Dex was going to let go and grasped Dex’s hand hard.

“It’s okay,” Dex said. “I’ll hold your hand the entire flight if that’s what you want.”

When the plane stopped and then began to turn until it was in takeoff position, Seo-jun took a deep breath, and Dex could only hold onto his hand as the plane began to roll forward, then pick up speed until it suddenly lifted into the air. Seo-jun’s face dripped sweat. His eyes were closed, and lips parted as his breathing accelerated. Why in the world had he offered to go with Dex if he was so scared of flying? For that matter, how did he handle the flights he frequently had to take for his job?

Once they’d reached the desired altitude and the announcement came on that they could remove their seatbelts, Seo-jun eased up the death grip he had on Dex’s hand.

“Sorry,” he said, looking so embarrassed, Dex’s heart went out to him.

“No need to be. I totally understand. I’m extremely afraid of heights. Get me on a bridge or something else where I can see how high up I am, and I become paralyzed. But, Seo-jun. How do you deal with it with your job?”

“I have a prescription that really helps,” Seo-jun said, wiping his face with a tissue. He was pale and his hands were still trembling.

“Did you forget to bring it with you?”

“No. I have it. But it makes me loopy and kind of sleepy.”