Page 11 of Piece Us Together

“You’re both awful liars. Shall we just stop wasting time trying, please?”

I bristle, both at the idea that I’m a bad liar—I’m a liar for a living, goddamnit—and at his tone with Nolan. I don’t like the way Nolan flinches either.

Hunter sighs as if he can tell I’m upset. He probably can, the bastard. “I understand this is difficult for the both of you—and I understand that there might be times when you reallydon’tknow something. But I can’t help you unless you’re honest with me. Will you please let me help?”

Nolan and I exchange a look before Nolan turns to him. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I guess—in a perfect world, I’d find a way toget the calm that submission brings me, somehow. There’d be a way to get that piece of myself to settle.”

“It’s that calm that you’re after the most? Not sexual release?”

Nolan’s cheeks darken, but he surprisingly doesn’t look away from Hunter. “I’d like both, but if I had to choose, it’s the calm, yes. The peace. I want that feeling of handing the weight of the world off to someone else. That rush of pleasing someone. Of being good. That feeling of being…owned.” He looks away then, but not at me.

I know the shame he feels about this. I don’t judge him, but I still can’t fully understand why he wants to feel that way. The peace, sure, that makes sense. And I’d definitely love a chance for the weight of the world to be off me too.But to be owned? After what he’s been through?I respect it, I accept it, but I don’t understand it. I’m not sure I ever will.

Hunter doesn’t seem the least bit confused. Then again, he doesn’t know Nolan’s history. Or maybe it’s just because he has dominance radiating off of him when every bone in my body is begging for a fucking break from carrying the weight of control.

“You speak as if you have experience,” Hunter points out. “Have you had a dominant before?”

Nolan turns away again, fumbling with an apple. “Not…exactly. It wasn’t healthy, the situation I was in. But it gave me enough experience to know what I do and don’t want. To figure out what I liked. And now that it’s gone, the good along with the bad, I know what I miss. What I…need.”

“To be owned,” Hunter says, not an ounce of judgment in his voice. “To be cared for, completely. To be controlled, in a safe way.”

“Yes.” He swallows. “And to be good for him—for the—the dom. I want to take everything for him, everything he wants me to take. I want to make him proud. I want to—to earn his praise.I want to earn…him. Pain, pleasure, orders—I want it to be for him. I want to…” He shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

Hunter makes a soft, understanding sort of noise. “You want to be his, completely, and you want to prove that you’re worthy of that.”

Nolan releases a shaky breath before looking at Hunter with tear-filled eyes. “Yes.”

“Lucky dom,” Hunter murmurs. The words are praising, somehow. They make Nolan blush. His shoulders soften. I’ve seen them soften like that before—for Travis.

I hate seeing it.

I love seeing it.

Hunter understands him.

Hunter is going to be able to give him what he needs.

It’s agony.

It’s relief.

This is the man I love, about to get what he wants, what he needs, what he deserves. It feels like the reality of it is about to split me in half and swallow me whole.

“And from the look on your face,” Hunter says slowly, his attention now on me. “You’re not at all interested in providing that for him?”

I flinch. “No. I can’t. I’ve tried—I really, really tried, but I can’t.”

“Okay. That’s okay.” Hunter ducks his head until I’m forced to meet his eyes. They’re incredibly earnest, all warm and caring. A feeling passes through me as I look into them. Something close to how it felt when he calmed me in the alley. “You can’t control that any more than he can control his own wants and needs. The fact that you were willing to try is huge. There’s nothing wrong with the fact that you couldn’t do it. Nothing at all, Maison.”

Emotions clog my throat, making it impossible to respond with anything other than a sharp nod. He thankfully lookstoward Nolan then. It’s not long, more of just a glance to check on him, but it’s enough for me to shove everything deep down and get my shit together again.

He frowns when he looks back at me. I don’t let myself care about why.

“Are you possessive, Maison?”

I nearly laugh. “I mean, yes? I love him. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Those things are not mutually exclusive with sharing, despite what societal norms may indicate. I’m asking if you’d be able to handle Nolan belonging to a dom who isn’t you. If you’d be able to handle him being owned by another man.”