Page 14 of Piece Us Together

I frown. “Why? What does that matter?”

“It might be best if I can give an example—is there something, just a single thing, that you couldn’t stomach doing with Nolan? Something from the packet you looked at together?”

I look away from him, shame washing over me.He won’t judge me, right?Actually, it doesn’t matter if he does, anyway. His judgment isn’t valid because he doesn’t have all the facts.

I tell him the first thing that comes to mind. The one thing I know killed Nolan, despite how hard he tried to smile and pretend otherwise. “I can’t have him kneel for me.”

I’m not sure who tenses worse—Hunter or Nolan. I can’t look at Nolan, my heart can’t take it right now, so I look at Hunter instead. He manages to hide his surprise just after I catch sight of it, putting on a surprisingly believable straight face. “Alright. So, when you’re filling out the packet, kneeling will be on there. All Nolan has to do is decide if he wants to kneel for me or not. For you, it’s going to depend on your participation. If you’re not in the room, will it still bother you knowing he’s kneeling for me? Or do you not care as long as you don’t see it? If you decide that you want to be in the room, can you handle seeing him kneel for me? Or will that need to be a hard or soft limit, since you’re there to witness it?” He puts a hand up. “I’m not asking you to answer right now, that’s something you’ll need to think about for yourself. It’s just an example of how you’ll have to view the packet differently. Is that making sense?”

“Yeah.” I chance a look at Nolan. He’s staring down at his cutting board, not moving. “Yeah, that makes sense. Like—like a difference between what I’m willing to do to him, what I’m willing to know is being done to him despite not seeing it, and what I’m willing to watch be done to him.”

Hunter smiles. It’s bright. Wide. Proud.

God, that’s—that’s anicesmile.

“Exactly, Maison. So, the first thing to decide is if you’ll be in the room with us.” He shrugs. “That doesn’t need to be decided right now. Take some time.”

“I already know. I’m not leaving him.” I glare at him. He doesn’t deserve it, but it’s just about the only defense mechanism I have left. “I’ll be there the whole time.”

Hunter just nods, seemingly not bothered. “Alright. Then you’ll need to decide if you’re going to participate.”

“I don’t know what I want, yet. I don’t know if I’ll know until it’s happening. Paper is all well and good, but…”

“But until it’s happening, you aren’t sure what you want or what you’re willing to do.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s understandable. How about you fill out your packet in two colors? One color can be what you’re willing to witness and the other color for what you’re willing to participate in. It’ll be like Nolan’s, where some things are for certain okay, while others are soft and hard limits. That way we have a place to start from, at least. I have an excellent memory, which works very well in my favor. I can adapt as we go, depending on decisions you both make along the way. We can always stop a scene and talk things through before continuing, as well. We’ll use safewords.”

I consider all of that, realizing it actually sounds like an okay plan. Maybe even more than okay. “Okay. I can do that.”

Hunter nods, tearing his gaze away from me.

Nolan fidgets with a spatula. There’s a sandwich on the pan now. He’s looking at the sandwich like it holds all of the answers.

“Nol?” I ask.

He releases a shuddering breath before turning to look at us. His gaze barely touches Hunter before it’s settled on me. A tear falls down his cheek. I realize it’s not the first one, seeing that there are more half-dried on his face. “I’m sorry, I’m just—are you saying—I’m sorry—are you saying you’ll—that you’ll be my boyfriend and he’ll be my—my dom? For real? And like, with sex included? I can—that’s a thing? A thing I can really h-have?”

I look at Hunter, feeling lost, feeling like I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. He just nods at me once, strong and steady. Sure. A dominant in every definition of the word. Then he looks at Nolan and gives him a smile that seems to unfurl the tension in the entire fucking room. Even inside of me.How the fuck does he do that?

I want him to stop.

I want him to do it forever.

“Yes, Nolan,” Hunter says with that smile still in place. “That’s what we’re saying.”

Nolan nods.

And then he sobs.

I’m not sure which one of us reaches him first—me or Hunter. Our hands pass over each other, working in tandem to hold him together. With his second sob, his legs give out and he slides to the floor, our bodies keeping him from falling completely. He buries his face in my neck, one of his hands clinging to Hunter’s shirt. His ass is in my lap, his legs in Hunter’s.

Hunter cups the back of Nolan’s neck, just resting his hand there as Nolan cries against my skin. I lift a trembling hand to rest it over Hunter’s, something warm passing over me at the simple touch.

The next sob is quieter. Softer. He’s melting into me now, his breathing slowing.

I look at Hunter, our eyes locking.