Page 37 of Cage
How have I let myself become so obsessed with her? I want to possess her. Hear her cry my name as I bring her to the peak of ecstasy. And yet, despite wanting all of that, I know she’s off-limits. Maybe it’s a good thing I’ve never cared much about limits.
“I’ll see you at dinner,” I say over my shoulder as I stride toward the doorway.
“Got it,” Jasper calls out. “Good talk, bro.”
13
EMBER
“Can I play with you?”
The small, hesitant voice startles me. Whoa. I was really absorbed in playing with all these adorable baby dolls. There are so many of them. Ones with curly hair, straight hair, even red hair like mine. And the clothes. There are a lot of outfits to choose from. Frilly dresses, skirts, furry coats. I’m envious of all the toys Rowie has in this room, but I’m downright jealous of her doll collection.
I turn to look at her as she stands in the doorway, nibbling on her bottom lip and peering at me shyly.
“I don’t want to bother you, and it’s okay if you’d rather play alone,” she says, waving her hand dismissively. “I’ll just leave you be.”
“Wait!” I call out as she takes a step back. “You… um, you don’t have to go. It’s just, um, well, I don’t really know how to play. I probably won’t do it right.”
“Oh.” Rowie shuffles over and plops onto the floor beside me, crossing her legs and tucking her feet under her knees. “There’s no right or wrong way to play. You just do what makes you happy and what feels natural.”
She picks up one of the dolls and a small brush and starts combing out the tangles. “Have you ever played before? Or is being Little new for you?”
I tense, my hands trembling slightly as my mind flashes to the past.
Rowie’s eyes go round, and she reaches out to touch me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ask so many questions. I’m so awkward. Such a dummy.”
My mouth drops open, and I quickly shift to face her, shaking my head as I do. “No. No, you’re not a dummy or awkward. I mean, I guess we’re all a little awkward. I certainly am. But no, you’re totally fine.” I offer the most reassuring smile I can manage.
She returns mine with a grin of her own, then starts brushing her doll’s hair again. I pick up one that has no clothes on and search for an outfit.
As I dress my doll in a yellow skirt and polka-dot shirt, I bite the inside of my cheek until I taste blood. Rowie has been nothing but kind to me every time she’s seen me. She’s also a Little like me. She’s notthem. She won’t be mean and cruel.Will she understand, though? What if she thinks I’m ridiculous because what happened in the past still affects me?
With every second that passes, it gets harder to breathe.
Just tell her.
Just be myself.
Cage said I can be myself here.
“I attended boarding school, and during eighth grade, I had a dolly. Her name was Betsy. She had the prettiest green eyes, straight black hair, and freckles like mine. I loved her so much. I always struggled to make friends because I felt out of place, so Betsy was my best friend. Some girls caught me playing with her one day and took her from me. They were so mean. They.” I swallow thickly, trying to push the lump in my throat back down.“Um, they cut her to pieces and would leave them in my room, body part by body part. And every day, they would harass me for playing with toys at my age. It got so bad that I had to see a doctor because I started having regular panic attacks.”
When I finish talking, I glance at Rowie. Is she going to pity me? Tell me to get over it? It’s been years since it happened. I need to let it go, but for whatever reason, it’s one of those memories that haunts me.The seconds pass like hours, and I hold my breath as her gaze narrows. I’ve probably already scared her away from being my friend.
Her eyebrows draw together, then turn into a scowl. “Those fucking bitches. How dare they!” she nearly shouts, her hands balling into fists. “Who are they? Give me their names. My brothers will destroy them.I’lldestroy them.”
She jumps to her feet, her face beet red with anger, and all I can do is stare at her in awe. This tiny spitfire of a woman, probably doesn’t even weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet, is ready to go to battle for me. She barely knows me. Is this what friendship is? Being ready to bury a body at a moment’s notice?
“I’m going to get Cage. Those bitches need to pay.”
I leap up and grab her hand before she can take off. The last thing I need is for him to get involved.
“No, don’t go,” I plead. “I don’t want to make a big deal of it. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”
My bottom lip trembles. What a mess. I don’t know Cage very well, but I know him enough to be certain that if he discovers all the things those girls did to me, he won’t let me get away without giving up names.
Rowie frowns. “But you deserve revenge. That was a horrible thing for them to do. I want to cry just thinking about it.”