Page 50 of When Night Falls
I'm sure she thinks me to be a monster right now with the way that I've treated her and the act that she caught me in.
"Okay, but why? I mean…" Her thoughts seem to spread in every direction of her head as she forces one of them to stick so she can find something to say.
"I'm a vampire, we need to feed, Lucynda. We've talked about this." I saunter past her into the hallway that leads to nothingness, so her only way out is the stairway she traveled down.
Torches embedded into the cement ground light the path from here to the exit, creating an ominous feeling for anyone who dares to come down to my dungeon.
"I know, I know, I just-" She seems to be lost for words. Like she is trying to be understanding but she also despises what she just caught me doing. "I didn't expect to walk in on you, I guess." Her tone sounds frail and defeated. Maybe even betrayed.
Part of me misses that fiery girl who fought against me before, but now she seems curled into this idea that she has to submit to the darkness that falls in between the cracks of her new world. Her light is snuffed, and though I crave for her black-laced heartto come out and play with my own, I miss watching her be herself. Something I'm realizing she hasn't truly been since I've made her aware of her future to come.
"Is there something wrong with that?" I ask, not wanting to spend much more time analyzing her diffidence when earlier as she entered the dungeon, I could have sworn she was heated with vexation.
"No, I guess not. But I thought you'd said-" She crosses her arms in innocence, but I know she's trying to hold back a feeling more laden. She doesn't finish her sentence and I become entirely too impatient.
"What did you need from me, Lucynda?" She walks out behind me into the dark and dingy hallway. The fire of a nearby torch illuminates her hair in little shimmers of golden yellows and amber reds. Her glass-like eyes also reflect the small image of burning fire within them, something that I know to be true for her soul as well. She just needs someone to help her light it.
"Well, you kind of locked me in a tower and threw away the key, Rivian. Remember? Was your plan to just leave me there? Until when?" She leans up against the wall behind her, I can tell now that her anger-induced energy is coming back to her. I knew I could sense that she was upset with me for something. And of course, I'm not stupid enough to think that she wouldn't be, I just didn't care. Or at least I told myself that I didn't.
If I spend any more time with her than I need to, I might succumb to that overpowering bond my soul is tied to. I have to force myself out of that idea because if I take what I so greedily want, it could betray my promise and my word is all I have left.
I know I can't ignore her forever; I know I can't expect her to stay in her room like a good girl, but I also can't fucking take the way that she's looking at me right now with her ember-lit eyes. Her arms across her chest accentuate the curve and lift of her breasts. Her cheeks are rosy from the heat of the fire,her eyes now eating me up making it harder for me to control this instinctual hunger I have for her; the need to hear what she sounds like when she moans or how she writhes when she's under me. That and she's fucking devastating to look at.
The line between right and wrong, want and need, heaven and hell is so fucking fine that I'm starting to feel my vision blur and my brain get dizzy at the thoughts. I'm the one with the mind controlling powers yet she's got an absolute fucking hold on me.
Do I want to put her on a pedestal and worship her? Or do I want to use her for the sole purpose of getting what I intended to do with my reign as king? I don't see an outcome where I can achieve both.
"Seems to me like you weren't locked away after all." I force myself to respond, knowing that I'm losing sight of what the ultimate goal is here. I can't let Lucynda work her hypnotic eyes and siren voice into my void to penetrate my reserve, because I am nothing but empty.
"Don't act stupid,” she spits, rather throwing me off guard a bit. I didn’t realize she could be so fiery. “You didn't speak a single word to me after dragging me back here. You left me feeling like I didn't matter to you, like my presence here is worthless to you. Is that how you expected to welcome your future wife into her new home? Don't you think you should have more respect for me considering-" Her nose scrunches as her brows furrow and displeasure spills from her tongue.
"Considering what? That you are to be queen? You'll get my respect when you earn it." I turn my back to her, needing to rid myself of the anger that pours from her. It's corrupting me.
Sweet, shy, calm Lucynda can rile me up with just the bat of her eyelashes and the quiver of her lips. Reasons why I try my fucking hardest not to look at her when I can avoid it. But heated, fiery, vehement Lucynda sets me off like a ticking time bomb. I know she's capable, but I don't expect it to knock me onmy ass the way she does. She's like nothing or no one I've ever seen before.
I wince at myself for having spoken utterly untrue words. I told Birdania that I wouldn't put up with the disrespect of my bride-to-be, and I meant that. The titles of king and queen are meant to uphold the voice of reason and allow for subservience in the kingdom. They won't respect her if I don't. Which means that I also hold some level of reverence for her, but she can't know that. She needs to believe that she is required to work just as hard for my trust in her, at least in this moment.
Lucynda steps forward and places her hand on my elbow, her shallow breathing can be heard feathering its way into my ear and I close my eyes wondering how she sounds when she's fully undressed and wanton. I'm proven to be a weak man when she says her next words.
"Okay, so tell me how to earn it." Her voice creeks up from the shadows that dance around us.
"Well, you can stop running away from me every five fucking minutes, for one." I state the only thing that's truly bothered me about my capture of her. Capture that I eased her into, imploring her to accept it, but capture, nonetheless.
"I'm here now, aren't I?" She lets go of her small hold on me and takes a step back. Oh, she's fucking good.
I know she's trying a different approach by lowering her guard a bit, speaking in a softer tone than what she came down here to use. But I don't have time to entertain her shit.
"What do you want, Lucynda?" My voiceboomsa little louder against the harsh echo down here.
"No, Rivian. What doyouwant?Yousoughtmeout.Youmadethismy life." She takes another step back and throws her hands around her in the air. "You can't just drop this huge bomb on me and then disappear without giving me anything to ease these thoughts going through my head. You of all people, if you claimto have been following me for as long as you have, should know that leaving me to my thoughts is dangerous for my health.You should know." Her last words leave on a disappointing whisper. Her eyes drop to the ground again.
She's right.
I should know, not just because of what I've seen happen to her but because I have been through it too. Or at least something comparable. Though she doesn't know that part of me and I am trying my best to ensure she never will. Vulnerability isn't something I'm keen to share too often and if I do, it’s usually with intended precision.
"Bite me," Lucynda says, my back still facing her with an unimaginable thrist angrily coursing through my veins. Thirst I thought I had satisfied after I reluctantly grabbed that outsider and brought her down for a forbidden feed. Forbidden because I fear of what I might do if I indulge too much while being under the ropes of this wretched curse.
"What?" I turn my head over my shoulder to see that she's looking up at me, anticipating eye contact so desperately.