Page 133 of The Grand Duel
“He’s good.”
“And the bump?”
I see her smile out of the corner of my eye and turn to look down at her. “Growing.”
“Won’t be long, and we’ll have two mini Mases running around.” I chuckle. “I’ll go get Scar. Why don’t you head into the city? Be with Mase. I’ll stay here with the kids tonight.”
“You don’t have to. I’m not as tired as I look, I promise.”
“You’re pregnant and have the neediest husband alive, Nina. Go see him. I missed the kids this week.”
“Don’t you have work in the morning?”
“Yeah. I’ll start a little later and bring them with me. What time does Scarlet’s shift at the hospital start?”
“Early. Mase is going to have them after his meeting so that I can go to work. You could drop them to him once he’s done.”
“Sure.” I kiss her cheek and go to leave the room.
“Charlie?” she asks, and I turn. “Are you okay?”
I fight it. I fight my smile like an ass, and it makes me want to smile harder. “I’m really good.”
The dogs have already found Scarlet when I walk up behind her on the hilltop. She still has her hospital clothes on, her faded lavender hair pulled up in a knot on her head.
She looks up at me when I reach her, and I smile. “Shit day?”
“The shittiest,” she tells me, giving me a small, forced smile back. “I’m okay, though.”
I sit beside her and look out on the lake.
“Liar,” I eventually say.
I don’t need to look at her to know she’s fighting back her emotions, her body coiled tight at my side. Without a word, knowing she needs it but wouldn’t ever ask, I slip my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side.
And then I have to pretend it doesn’t fuck me up inside as she breaks down in my arms.
“It’s okay, Scar,” I tell her. “You’re okay.”
She sniffles and wipes her face. “I’ve been doing so much better. Today just hit me out of nowhere. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’ve been doing incredible,” I correct her. “And nothing is wrong with you. You think I don’t have bad days? Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re training to be a doctor whilst bringing up a child alone and running this place.” I gesture to the estate. “I’m pretty sure I’d cry daily if I was in your position.”
She chuckles at that before growing quiet again. “I just wish I could turn it all off, Charlie. All the feelings. Life used to be so uncomplicated, and I didn’t even know it. I had no idea how hard it can be.”
I sit and listen, not really having an answer.
“I was working today, and this woman crashed on me. I started chest compressions, and they brought the defib, and I did everything to the book. Everything. And yet midway through, right as I was shocking her chest, already knowing I’d lost her, I thought about Lance.” She looks up at me, eyes red and shining. She shakes her head. “I know I’m doing better, but I don’t think I’m alright at all. I’m angry and sad all the time.” A fresh wave of tears come, and she hides her face, dropping herhead in the space between my neck and shoulder again. “I think I want you to stop visiting him.”
I swallow, a frown pulling my brows together.
“I know you don’t just go for Ave and me, but I can’t keep on waiting. I will.” Her voice cracks, and I lock my jaw, my own eyes burning. “I’ll wait forever for him. But I can’t keep hoping. Not when it steals so much of my happiness and your time.” She looks up at me when I don’t say anything. “What do you think?”
I stare out at the lake, my chest feeling heavy. “I don’t honestly know,” I say, although I do. I think if I stop showing up for visitation, Lance will think he’s lost me, too. And no matter how angry I am at the bastard for cutting us off, he’ll be the best man I know until the day they lay me in the ground. “If you think it’s the right thing for you and Ave, then you know I’ll respect that.”
She sits quiet, but I can feel her mind whirling. “I still write. He’s still receiving my letters.”
“Good. I don’t think you should stop those.”