Page 142 of The Grand Duel
“I know.”
“I let you touch me,” I croak out. “Thinking it was new and something, but it was just another round to you. Another girl.”
“No.”
“Yes,” I snap. “That’s exactly what it is.”
“Lissie, please.” He lifts my chin. “I’m so sorry.”
I brush his hand away. “Don’t touch me.” My eyes burn. “I can’t even look at you right now. I feel like I know nothing about you.”
His eyes dart around my face. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true,” I mutter back.
I’ve never felt so stupid in all my life.
I feel his stare lingering on me still, his chest visibly shaking with each breath. “I didn’t know I’d want you like this, Lis. I had no idea when I made the decision not to tell you that I’d want you in the way I want you now. It’s not an excuse, I know that. But it’s the truth.”
“You had other opportunities to tell me.”
He shakes his head.
“Like when you flew me to Italy and put your hand between my legs.”
He stills, my words clearly hitting. He leans back, leaving room for me to open the door if I please.
I don’t know why I don’t.
“I didn’t think I had a chance with you. The more time I spent with you, the more I knew it, and I didn’t want to ruin whatever was happening between us.”
I let my eyes lift to him.
“Will you let me take you home? Please. Or to mine? Just…” He places his hands on his head, watching me. “There’s so much more to this that you don’t understand.”
“Then tell me.”
He rubs at his face. “I-I can’t.”
I huff a humourless laugh, my anger igniting again. “You can’t.” I repeat the words he gave me in bed yesterday morning. “Is there anything you can do, Charles?”
He says nothing.
I turn and pull open the door.
“You have no idea what you’ve done to me.”
I stop when he passes me and stands in the doorway, blocking my exit.
“Do you know what it took for me to touch you like that? What it took for me to be that way with you?”
I throw my hands out to my side. “I have no idea! Because you haven’t ever told me.” I stare at him, my eyes stinging. I shrug. “You can’t.”
“You didn’t tell me everything either.”
I frown, the pain in my chest stealing my breath. “I told you enough.”
“Lissie—”