Page 280 of The Grand Duel

He’s not missed one night, letting me know where he is and that he’s home so that I won’t worry.

I miss you, Charles. Very much.

I stare at my phone after I quickly hit send, my eyes going wide.

Reading it back, my insides heat, the message delivering. I drop the phone to the counter. “Oh, god, why have I sent that?”

I pace the kitchen, my stomach in knots.

I could have said anything.

My phone chimes, and I rush to pick it up.

Jovie

Text him

I quickly swipe out of my messages and turn everything off downstairs, making my way up to bed with the dogs following.

I lie staring at my bedside table for over three hours with not one single notification appearing on my phone.

Charlie

I swipe a hand over my face as I stare at Lissie’s message from last night.

This message has been deleted

I heard my phone go off when I got out of the shower, but with the way Mason and Elliot have been constantly checking up on me, I didn’t check my messages.

Not even first thing this morning did I think to look.

I’m a fucking idiot.

I want to text her and apologise, but it’s gone ten a.m., and she’ll be at work already. I’m not even certain what to say. That I was ignoring my phone for the night?

No excuse is good enough, and she wouldn’t believe it anyway.

I wouldn’t believe it.

I need to see her.

She deserves more than a text message.

I’m just not sure that’s the right thing to do. Not after seeing the pain she was in before I left.

I grab my keys from the sideboard in Mason’s entryway and walk into the waiting lift, dropping my head back as it takes me to the parking garage.

I’ve never felt more conflicted.

Knowing all I need is her when the last thing she needs is me.

I sigh and walk from the lift.

When I pull up to the traffic lights at the end of my street, I know driving straight on will take me to headquarters where I’ll sit staring at files for the rest of my morning, my thoughts lost to her. I look to the right of me…or I can cut across everyone and make the right turn, and I’ll head towards Thameside Prison.

It’s been nearly two months since I stopped visiting Lance.

There’ve been moments when I’ve thought about him, moments I’ve been angry at myself for letting him down, but then I remember that he’d see me sat there for hours at a time, refusing my visits.