Page 298 of The Grand Duel
“You do,” she confirms. “And I don’t think that will ever change. Regardless of actual human children.” Her hand smooths over my chest. “You changed the subject at dinner when I mentioned Emily. Has it been on your mind at all? She doesn’t have long left now.”
I swallow, fighting against the urge to close the conversation down.
If I’m being honest, I’ve not been able to stop thinking about the baby and what will happen if it’s mine.
“She doesn’t. A couple weeks.” I search her eyes for any trace of her sadness. “It doesn’t feel real.”
“It doesn’t,” she agrees. “You haven’t talked about it at all since coming home.”
I haven’t. I’m too afraid too. “Until we know if it’s mine, I’m not sure what there is to say.”
“Well, have you booked any time off for after?”
I frown. “You think I should?”
“I think you’ll be needed. Depending on how everything pans out, of course.”
My heart thuds under her palm, and she rubs over the spot, her smile reassuring.
“We don’t have to talk about this,” she tells me, her eyes fluttering shut. “But I’m here if you need me.”
She steps back to my side, wrapping her arm around my waist as we continue walking home.
My throat seems to grow tighter and tighter the further we walk in silence.
When I left Lissie, it was to protect her from all of this. All the things that could possibly hurt her. I couldn’t—can’tstand the idea of it being our reality.
But she asked to be a part of it.
It’s where I went wrong.
My biggest mistake.
She should be a part of it because she is a part of me.
“Will you come with me, Lissie?” I look down at her when she lifts her head, stopping at the front gate. “Emily has an appointment on Friday at the hospital, and I want you there with me. If that’s something you want.”
Her eyes sparkle with emotion, and I know I’ve caught her off guard, that she’s trying to be strong for me again.
And I let her.
I have to let her.
“Of course I’ll come. If that’s okay with Emily.”
“It’ll have to be,” I tell her, shaking my head as I stare at her in awe. “I don’t want to do it without you.”
A tear slips from the corner of her eye, and I wipe it away, my nostrils flaring.
“I’m scared, Lis,” I tell her honestly, going against everything inside of me. “I’m terrified, actually.”
“I know you are,” she whispers. “I am, too.” She smooths her hands over my face, bringing us nose to nose. “But no matter what, we’re always going to come home, okay? We’ll always have each other.”
“I don’t know if I can be a dad to someone else’s child,” I admit.
She leans up on her toes and kisses me.
And it’s as if she breathes life back into me.