Page 22 of Destined Bear
“I didn’t take care of him.” I closed my eyes, ashamed at how I let him down. “I failed him. My mate… I failed at the only job I had.”
My shoulders slumped as if voicing the words lifted the heavy weight I’d been carrying. It should’ve felt better, letting it out, but the soul-crushing truth still lingered in the air around us and stole my breath. My gut and my bear told me not to leave him and still I did. It wouldn’t have made him not sick, but it would’ve gotten him the help he needed sooner and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t still be suffering like this. But more importantly than that, he wouldn’t have been alone when everything fell apart.
I was never going to forgive myself for that.
“Nonsense.” The power in his voice rippled over me. He was in full-on Alpha mode. “We didn’t know his family’s history. Now that we do, we’re better equipped. Rissa’s already getting resources together to help him through the rest of this pregnancy. From everything they’ve told me, as soon as Finn’s out of the early stages, the sickness should completely go away.”
I’d heard all of that, and I believed it, but deep down, the sense of failure still lingered.
“Come. Let’s run.”
Aydan pulled me outside and nudged me into my bear form. He didn’t bother to ask me to remove my clothing, instead letting them tear, and reluctantly, I followed him into the woods. Thankfully, we stayed close to my house—Aydan must have sensed I wouldn’t want to go far. Still, it did feel good to stretch my legs and shift into my bear form.
Once we finished our run, we sat back down on the deck.
“Feel better?” Aydan asked.
I nodded. “Yes, Alpha. Thank you.”
“This is scary for you. For me, too. Finn is a part of my den, just like you are. It’s got Corey and Jace pretty torn up as well. You’re not in this alone.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly through my nose. “I know that. Thank you.”
“You’ll return to work tomorrow. For at least two hours.”
Fuck. The last time I went to work, I nearly lost my mate. How could he think I wanted to go back there so soon?
“Do they need me? Surely, the diner can survive without me another day.” Those were not words I’d thought I’d ever utter before, and honestly, even if they did need me, they could wait. The den was filled with adults. Worst-case scenario they could dine on cold cereal.
“You need it. Your mate needs it.”
“I’m not ready,” I admitted.
“One more day, then. But I want you at least up and walking around. Your mate needs you to be strong. Show his bear that your bear can handle all of this.” He hit me where I was weakest. Of course I was going to do it if it was best for my mate.
“I can do that, Alpha. I will.” I was at least going to try. There were no guarantees. I refused to not listen to my gut when it came to my mate, not ever again.
“Good.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “Now, let’s go back inside.”
He didn’t need to ask me twice.
Finn was waking up when I entered the room. He smiled when he saw me.
“You look better.” He looked me up and down. “I worried about you.”
“Me?” I asked. “What about you?”
“Well, I’m hoping I can stand up on my own tomorrow. Rissa said I could, right?” He looked at me expectantly. She had mentioned it earlier in the day, after he’d had his light breakfast.
“We can try.” I didn’t love the idea, but Rissa was the expert.
“Good.”
I climbed into bed with him as Corey and Aydan gave us some space.
“You’re still blaming yourself.” Finn rested his head against my arm.
“I am. I’m so sorry.”