Page 17 of Devil's Queen
“I didn’t have the power to stop any of that, but I do now.” Rex’s gaze drops to the floor, his broad shoulders slumping further. “I never wanted to leave either of you,” he admits quietly. “But in that moment, it felt like my only choice.”
I take a step closer to him, my voice filled with anger and desperation. “You expect me to believe that? To believe anything you say after all this time?”
He finally looks up at me, his eyes filled with raw vulnerability. “I don’t expect forgiveness,” he says softly. “But I need you to understand that everything I did, everything I’ve become, was because of my love for you and your mother.”
“You don’t know anything about love,” I hiss at him. “Just like you know nothing about me or how my father died. You almost got me to believe you there for a second.”
Part of me wants to unleash all the pent-up anger and frustration that has been building within me for years. But another part of me—a small ember of curiosity—yearns to understand what drove Rex’s actions that night. The need for closure threatens to overpower my judgment, but I shake it away. Letting him back is the last thing I need right now.
“This isn’t a fucking game, Rem.” Rex takes a step closer, his eyes pleading for understanding. “I’m not lying to you about your father. I wouldn’t stoop that low.”
“I don’t know how low you’d stoop now to get what you want,” I seethe. “You show up here and expect me to accept all of this without a second thought. To welcome you back with open arms like the last eight years didn’t fucking happen.” Rex’s face falls, a mixture of disappointment and resignation. For a moment, silence hangs heavy in the air, both of us lost in our thoughts. Then, Rex straightens his posture, determination etched across his features. “That’s not how real life works.”
“I understand,” he says softly. “I never expected it to be easy. But you deserved to know the truth, and that despite everything, I was and still am in your corner.” He pauses, uncertainty clear on his face. “You should know, though, that there are still club members who want your dad’s business, Rem.”
“Is that a threat?”
Rex raises his hands in defense, his eyes filled with urgency. “No, Rem, it’s not a threat from me. It’s a warning. You need to be careful.”
“I don’t need you to protect me,” I remark. “I can protect myself, my mama, and my business just fine on my own. The last person I need watching my six is the first person who betrayed me.”
“It’s not like that.” Rex shakes his head in exasperation. “I know you can protect yourself. Fuck, I knew you’d be on guard, but I didn’t see this conversation going this south.”
“You don’t get a warm reception like we’re old friends at a class reunion after everything that’s happened, Rex. You have your life and club, and I have mine. You came here to say what you felt you needed to say, and we should leave it at that because my allowing you to still be here talking is the only courtesy I will extend to you.”
“I guess I can live with the fact that I tried.”
I peer down at my watch. The five minutes I’d given him have long passed.
“Time’s up.”
Rex’s expression shifts from disappointment to resignation as he nods his understanding. “I’ll respect your decision,” he says, his voice filled with sorrow and acceptance. “But Rem, remember this… I may have betrayed you once, but I will never stop wanting what’s best for you. If you ever change your mind, if you ever need me, I’ll be there.”
With those final words hanging in the air, I turn away from Rex and make my way toward the bay door mechanism. Without another word, I hit the button and watch it close, putting a wall between Rex and me once more.
He may have come here out of guilt or whatever else he could be feeling, but letting him back in is the last thing I can do, not only for my sake but for Beaux’s. The son he will never know.
REX
During the entireride back from Rem’s shop, I replay the conversation in my mind. Showing up there unannounced was a risk, but it was my only option at the time since my attempt to call her had gone down in flames the second she realized I was on the other line. With Monte and his band of old fuckers still pushing for further action against her father’s will, I didn’t have a choice. With Wolff MIA and Monte trying to step into his shoes, she’s at risk. Protecting her from afar is no longer the safest option. I just wish it had gone better than it did. The guilt of staying away from the one woman who fucking got me and our lifestyle eats away at me. The decision I made eight years ago weighs down on me more with each passing day.
As I ride through the French Quarter back toward my house in Treme, memories of Rem and me flood my mind. The wind blows around me, carrying snippets of conversation from our meeting at the shop. The hesitation in her voice and the way she avoided my gaze indicated she was still harboring old wounds. My attempt to reconnect seemed to have only made matters worse.
I remember the way Rem used to laugh, her infectious joy spreading like wildfire, and how her hazel eyes would sparkle with mischief whenever we found ourselves alone under her father’s nose. We were young and invincible, or so we thought. But life has a way of shaping people, molding them into something different.
As I pull up to a stop sign, I can’t help but feel a heavy weight of regret settle in my chest.
I did this to us.
I stayed away to protect her, and now that I can actually do something about it, I may have blown any chance of getting her to let me back in.
I pull into my driveway, the weight of Rem’s guardedness still lingering in my thoughts. She’d changed so much since the last time I saw her. Gone is the girl I fell in love with, and in her place is a woman who, with one look, brought back feelings I’d long since put to rest. Rem had always been pretty—her long, dark hair framing her heart-shaped face, and those eyes of hers, fuck. What she used to do to me with one of her come-and-get-me smirks.
A memory flashes in my mind—the first night we’d snuck away from the clubhouse. She’d lied about a party with some of her friends in high school, and Rene, being the overprotected father, sent me along to ensure she wasn’t visiting her ex in the Demon Dogs MC. Little did he know, his daughter and I had other plans. We’d made it all of five minutes away from the clubhouse before I pulled over and had my cock buried into her tight cunt across my bike. The memory of how she felt around me sends a shot of lightning to my groin. What I wouldn’t give to know how it feels to lose myself in her body again?
But after this morning, any chance of that is gone. The wild, reckless girl I knew is gone, and in her place is a woman who well and truly hates me.
Dragging myself off my bike, I trudge up the path toward the front door of my two-story cottage-style home. The heavy weight of regret still hangs around my neck, suffocating me with every step. Opening the door, I quietly step inside. The last thing I need this morning is to wake up my daughter, Birdie. She’d been asleep in my bed when I left earlier under the careful watch of my neighbor, Miss Blanche.