Page 23 of A Fighting Chance

“I told you not to make apologies for nothing,” he says. He stretches back and releases his grip from my middle.

I turn to face him. “No, you don’t understand. This is obviously completely contradictory to what I said last night, and now I just look like an idiot,” I groan.

“Lyla, no. Listen, nothing happened, okay?” His voice carries a sincerity I can’t describe.

“Well, this can’t happen again. Absolutely not,” I say, my tone a bit harsher than I intend.

His expression changes at my words. He looks offended—no, he looks wounded.

“Okay, no problem,” he says, rolling away from me and out of the giant fluffy bean bag chair. Before I know it, he’s across the room and pulling clothes from his drawers, shoes from the floor, and his cell phone from the table. “I’m going to get a shower. I’m sure you can see yourself out,” he says, walking out without saying anything more.

And just like that, he’s cold again. I am such an idiot. A major ass. I smash my face into the bean bag.

I creep back to my room and shut the door behind me. Then I walk straight to my bed and collapse on it. I hear the shower start down the hall and I hate myself. This is proof I just don’t know how to…deal with people. Especially men. Everything is awkward and wrong and never works. When I do seem to get past that part, I’m met with rejection. So, at this point, I’m comfortable in my solitude.

I search for my phone and scroll through emails, social media, and check messages rather numbly while contemplating the recent events in my life. The more I think about it, the more Gentry reallydoesn’thave any reason to be upset with me. Of course I’m right. None of this is right; none of it will work. There’s no reason for us to be getting cuddly. I want to kick myself for asking him to stay in my little booze haze.

I close my eyes and lie in silence. After a few moments, I hear the bathroom door open and shut. I hear him step across the floor back to his room. He doesn’t seem to be in there very long before I hear his door open again. His feet stop in front of my door and my eyes shoot open. I wait to see if he’ll knock but it doesn’t come. He’s only there for a moment and then gone again before I hear him on the stairs and getting farther away, then I don’t hear him at all.

I only briefly wonder why he stopped in front of my door and then it clicks. I hop up from my bed and open my door. The paper is taped like the others and I take it, shutting my door again. I don’t make it back to my bed before I unfold it.

Holding you, warm against my skin.

Soft, how you melt me.

Dangerous woman,

you don’t know how I crave,

how I wish to devour.

Your mouth, it calls to me.

I can’t move. I can’t deny the fact that I like these notes. No one has ever said these kinds of things to me. But that doesn’t mean that pursuing it is a good idea.

I instinctively clutch the small scrap of paper to my chest. I hold it against me for a long time, replaying the words in my head, imagining his voice saying them as I do. I place it on the dresser with the other two, thankful I had remembered to grab them when I left his room earlier.

I shake thoughts of him and his words from my mind a final time before getting ready for the day. I dress to help Harper in the cabin as promised and go downstairs. To my disappointment, Gentry is already gone. Or perhaps, it should be relief. I don’t even know at this point. I’m confusing myself. Yes, the attraction is there, the lust. But I’m only here for a short time and the complications are too much. I’m trying really hard to resist but again…my stupid lady-brain. Nan and Paw are in the kitchen and I give them both kisses on their foreheads before finding Harper outside on the porch again. She isn’t crying this time, though.

She hands me coffee in a travel mug without a word, but gives me a small mischievous grin.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing, Lyla. Nothing at all.” She raises her shoulders and eyebrows at me in unison.

I grimace. “Obviously something.”

She nods in the direction of the cabin as if to signal our departure and we begin walking. “Let’s just say, despite how big this house is, it’s not as if you can really hide,” she says.

I sigh and roll my eyes. “No, no. Don’t eventhinkwhat you’re thinking.”

“What am I thinking?” she asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

“You’re thinking I hooked up with a complete stranger after one day, and I definitely didn’t,” I say, wagging my finger at her.

“No?” she asks, both shock and disappointment lining her voice.

“Of course not,” I say, somewhat offended she’d think so. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem if a lady wants to go hooking up with strangers. That’s her prerogative. And sure, I’ve had some flings in Boston. “I’m not here for that, I’m here for you, Harper.”