Page 29 of One More Chance
I open those first, choosing to ignore my sister for the time being.
Steve: Hey, would you maybe want to do something tomorrow night?
Steve: No pressure if you’re busy.
Steve:Oh god, am I being ghosted?
I laugh at both his persistence and mini panic attack. It definitely feels like something I would do.
Me:Hey! Sorry, I was just a little tied up with something. I have a wedding related event today, but I think I can be free later. Play it by ear?
“Wow, you prepare to fly fast,” Jensen says, laughing and rubbing his neck.
I look up to see him glancing over at me, and he nods toward my phone. I put it down in my lap. “It’s the same guy,” I tell him.
“Wait. Steve?” he asks in disbelief.
“Yeah, we’ve been messaging on and off.”
“Uh, okay,” he says.
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m just surprised, that’s all,” he says, gripping his hands tighter on the wheel.
“He wants to know if I’m free tonight but I don’t know if the event will be over in time. So I said maybe.”
“Tonight? Wow, that’s fast.” He adjusts his position in the driver’s seat.
“It is?”
“Well, I mean, we just kissed last night. Don’t you need a cooling off period?”
“Right, but that wasn’t real,” I remind him. “It was just practice.”
“Right,” he says. His jaw flexes as he stares forward.
And now I’m not sure what to say or do. Is he mad? No, that can’t be right. Maybe he just genuinely thinks I deserve better than a Steve? Maybe he really feels like I’m moving too fast? Am I? Hell, I don’t know how all this works.
The last time I did this, I had a curfew and zero need for a bra. I don’t know what it’s like now. Too fast, too slow. I know I’m tired of sulking and crying about Charles. I know I’m over my marriage. I know I’m ready to move on. I think. And maybe it won’t be love, but eventually, maybe I’ll find it again. But until then, I want to have fun. I want adventures. I want to make out and go camping and dancing and take cooking classes and travel. I want to go see the ocean and swim with turtles.
And I don’t want to do it alone.
I want a partner in crime. I’m ready for that.
I’m ready for something not even Charles gave me.