Page 81 of One More Chance
Lyla:I don’t think it’s a matter of WHEN. It’s more like IF you want to.
Me:Stop saying that. I’m in trouble here. I just excused myself to the bathroom to panic.
When she asks what has me panicking, I hesitate, giving her question a bit of thought.
Me:My feelings. I can’t deal with what happened with Charles again.
Lyla:I thought you got back out into the dating world?
Me:Yeah, but I expected to date around, have bad first dates, make out with a couple of men before I felt anything real.
Lyla:So, you’re feeling something real?
I shove my phone away, leaving her question unanswered for the moment. I’m not ready to answer it and I don’t want to lie. The truth is, I have no fucking clue what is happening with me, with us, right now.
Returning to the table, I notice our food is already here but Jensen hasn’t started eating. “Wow, how long was I in there?” I joke.
“Not long, it just got here. They’re quick,” he says.
The basket of golden beer battered shrimp on top of a bed of French fries looks nothing short of amazing. “I’m going to be so fat after this.” I laugh.
“Good, I’ll rub your belly while we cuddle.” He winks.
“What are we doing after lunch?” I ask right before I pop the first crunchy shrimp into my mouth.
Jensen looks at his watch. “Well, we have some options. We can start the games and try to win something, then get back on the road to the rental after that. Or we can stay later but not get back until pretty late, which means dinner will likely be fast food somewhere.”
Thinking about the options, I shove three fries into my mouth and look up at the ceiling like I’m deep in contemplation. “I don’t think I want fast food,” I admit. “Let’s win stuff and check out the souvenir shop, then head back. I really want to swim in the ocean.”
“Deal,” he says, shoving two shrimp into his mouth at once.
* * *
On the way back,I don’t fall asleep. I do hug the bear Jensen won me—as promised—to my chest. The soft little guy is wearing a bowtie; and though I’ve never been into stuffed animals, I definitely feel like I’ll be keeping this one forever. The souvenirs I got everyone back home sit in a bag on the back seat. Picking them out was yet another small reminder I’ll be going home soon. Seems it’s written everywhere, though it’s the last thing I want to think about. The fearful woman in me can’t help but wonder, though.
Will this bear be the only thing I have left of our time together?
Will this fluffy little stuffed animal be the only thing I’ll have left of Jensen?