Page 44 of Beyond the Blues
We sit in bed discussing our options on how Nora should get help, and we settle on therapy. Even if we leave this situation, not together, I’ll be happy knowing she’s okay.
“How have you been, though?” Nora asks me.
“My mum hid Coco’s suicide letter from me.” Nora’s jaw falls open.
“What?!” Nora says, shocked.
“And I feel so many mixed emotions about it. One part of me is so angry and upset she hid it from me, but the other part gets it. She didn’t want me to be sadder, she was just trying to protect me, I guess.”
“You can’t be angry at her forever. You need your family.” Nora smiles softly at me. She’s right. She’s shown me the effects of not being able to speak to her family. It hurts her. Although sometimes, it’s for the best that people don’t speak to your family, especially if they serve no goodness, but my family does. This was out of care, not spitefulness or cruelty. My mum cares about me so much. There’s been countless times she’s slept in my bed with me after Coco’s death, just waiting for me to stop crying and fall asleep. My dad as well, although he’s not as open with his emotions, he’s done little things to show me he cares.Like when he funded my many therapy trips, because in his words ‘he couldn’t watch his little girl in this much pain.’
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Chapter 26
Nora takes me out for the day, the paparazzi finding us at every stop we go to. We spend the day together, secretly exchanging kisses every moment we get, just like in Santorini. Spending these moments with her reminds me just how much I love her. Our two souls fit together perfectly, like a puzzle, although I think this puzzle is missing one piece. Nora’s here, living it up as a famous rockstar and I’m in London, publishing my poetry book. I’m finally living my dream, a quiet little life, reading and writing. I’d love to be made for this life Nora is living, but I’m just not. That’s why we’re just not quite right for each other.
“Nora.” I say, my voice echoing in the closed off exhibit in an art gallery Nora thought I’d like. I do.
“Yeah?” Nora’s hand clasping onto mine.
“You know I care so deeply about you and I love you, but I don’t think we can be together after this trip.” Nora’s face saddens.
“You see, our lives and dreams right now are so different, and although it may work for a bit, in the long run we will clash. I love how well you’re doing, but it’s not the life I want to lead. I’m finally getting my work published, and I’m happy with my life back at home. Which feels so good after feeling stuck for so long there. I don’t want to start a new life all over again, not yet.”
“I understand.” Nora says.
“Maybe another time, or another life?” Nora adds.
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CHAPTER 26
“Another time, another life, Nora, for sure.”
“Just for the last couple days you’re here, can we act like we’re never letting each other go?” Nora asks.
“I’ll never let you go Nora, I’ve just got to let both of us flourish.” Then I kiss her, inhaling every part of her, addicted to her taste. We continue to sit silently, hand intertwined and grazing my thumb on top of hers.
“That tickles.” Nora gently pulls her hand away, itching the ticklish sensation away.
“Sorry. My mum used to do it to me when I was younger. I always found it soothing.” I place my hands together and begin stroking my thumb. When I was younger, I was an anxious child, especially before meeting Coco. Always avoiding school, meeting new people and any social interaction, really. No matter the crowd, the place or time, I’d always be searching for my mum’s hand, latching onto it and not letting it go until my heartbeat went slower. No questions asked. My mum would stroke my thumb, giving me something to focus on other than the world around me. Nora pulls my hand back to hers and strokes her thumb in circular motions on the back of my hand.
“I’ve got something for you.” I say, rummaging through my handbag. Pulling out a badly wrapped present. Nora takes it and shakes it next to her ear.
“Is it a car?” Nora asks. I roll my eyes. She carefully unwraps the paper, gently peeling the tape away. Inside is my poetry book, of course, signed. That was more for my enjoyment. Once Nora opens it, her face fills with glee and she skims the pages.
“You even signed it? Boy, am I going to sell that for a lot of money when you are a famous author.” Nora winks at me.
“But really, thank you, Ophelia. This is amazing.” “You haven’t even read any yet?!” I chuckle.
“I don’t need to read any of the words to know how amazing it is to get your book published.”
We spend the rest of the day cozying up in Nora’s hotel room before her last gig in Las Vegas. Nora reads every poem in my book. We share tears and laughter as we read through it. It feels like a whole healing process going through my book, but that’s exactly how I wanted it to feel for the readers.
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