Page 17 of Tormented Kings
“No, not likethat,” he stresses, running a hand down his face in frustration. Maybe I should just shut up and listen. It would probably make this go by a lot faster. Then, I can leave and lick my wounds in peace. “What I mean is it wasn’t someone I was interested in. I didn’t really want anyone back then. It was before my feelings for you emerged. I’m not going to lie, I was a bit of a man whore back then. I’m not proud of it. But once I came toterms with how I felt about you, how my feelings have shifted, I haven’t been with anyone else. Not since having you.”
I shouldn’t like how his words make me feel—I shouldn’t believe it—yet butterflies erupt in my belly anyways.
“So you’re telling me, your father somehow had photos of you taken from when you were a teenager having sex with some girl and then photoshopped Connie’s face onto them?”
“Yes.” He nods. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Preston told me what you said about my father, the things he said and did.” His nostrils flare. “I am so fucking sorry that he did that. I should have been watching you closer. I should have protected you.”
“It’s not your job, Collin.”
He gets up and makes his way around the table to sit next to me. “But it is, Loillpop, it really is. It always has been. Since the moment your mother brought you home, and I saw your squishy little face, I vowed I would do everything in my power to protect you. Then, I was just a little kid with big dreams of being your protector. Later, I turned into a teenager, fighting boys off left and right.” My brows go up at his admission, but I keep quiet. “And then I had to go away. I hated that, you know I did. I told you as much. But I still found ways to make sure you were okay. Even then, it wasn’t enough. I’m not God, I can’t be there every moment of every day. And I will forever hate myself that I couldn’t protect you from that monster.”
I know he means Lionel and my eyes start to sting. I close my eyes and look away. But he keeps going.
“But I will protect you fromthismonster. I will do everything in my fucking power to make sure my father doesn’t touch you. Everything he said was a lie, Sadie. The photos, his threats, everything.”
“So I wasn’t just something to do to pass the time before you could be with her?” I ask, voice cracking. I knew, deep down, Iwasn’t. Things between us, even though it’s odd and intense, you can’t fake feelings like that.
Maybe a part of me wanted to use this as an excuse to hate him, to have one less person to have a hold of my heart so I can stop being pulled in so many different directions.
“No,” he says the world fiercely. “Never. Because there is no her, there is no one but you, Sadie. Just you, always you. Every other woman in this world means nothing to me. I only have eyes for you. He’s been trying to get me to marry that woman for years now, and I told him the same thing every time. Never. I will never marry Connie. Or anyone else he tries to set me up with. Because I love you. I wantyou.”
My chest feels so heavy with all these conflicting emotions.
“What about the audio?”
“What audio?” he asks, brows furrowing.
“He played an audio of you and her talking. About how you were excited to see her again.” And then I sigh. “He probably did something to fake it.”
“No probably. He did. Whatever it was, it wasn’t me talking. Hell, he most likely used AI or something. Because I haven’t talked to that woman recently, if ever. Please, Sadie–” his hand grips me tight. “Please believe me.”
I chew on my lower lip, stomach doing somersaults. I should say no, that it’s just not that easy. But it is. Because I was fooling myself. This is Collin. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, this man is crazy about me. He’s made it known more than once.
“I do,” I finally say, my voice just above a whisper.
“You do?” he asks, eyes flicking between mine, filled with a vulnerability I’ve never seen.
“I do.” I nod. “But...”
“No buts,” he growls, brows furrowing.
“But–” I continue. “It doesn’t change anything. I believe you when you say you don’t want to marry that woman, but yourfather does. He made it very clear that he will stop at nothing to make that happen. Including threatening my life and trying to pay me to leave.” I shake my head, looking out at the people walking along the path as I remember the crazy amount of money. “I’m not going to lie, I was tempted, you know. To take the money and go.” I turn back to look at Collin, who’s watching me intensely. Everything about this man is intense.
“But you didn’t,” he states.
“No. I don’t want his money. It’s dirty and comes with strings attached. I don’t want to leave, this is my home. I have plans for my future right here, on these school grounds. This school is literally going to be my career.” My heart starts to race as I think about the threat. “But I am afraid. If I don’t do what he asked of me, what will happen? Will he really kill me?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “Because I won’t let him get near you to do it.”
“He’s a powerful man, Collin.”
“And so am I.”
My belly swoops, my heart beating a little bit faster.
“What about my mom? What if he threatens her if I don’t do as he asks.”
“She’s under Mark’s protection. You don’t have to worry about her. He wouldn’t risk it. My father is lower on the social ladder than Mark. Much, much lower. All of this is some pathetic power play to keep himself relevant in our world. He knows he’s nothing. The only reason why he holds any power at all is because of the fucked up dirty things he does for criminals.”