Page 74 of Hell on Wheels
His jaw clenches and I laugh as he has to adjust himself again. “Stop it, all of you. If you don’t quit pawing at her in public, she won’t be able to race when the time comes. We’re good at theglamors, but therearefolks who will see through them and we want them to think this frumpy mess is male.”
Damon sighs, rolling his eyes as the twins move away. “Gay and bi men exist, Rebel Kelly. They race cars, too. It’s not like there’s a fucking ban or anything.”
Before they can get into a scrap about bullshit, neither of them means, I clear my throat. “Listen up, dick waving fools. You’re both right—LGBTQ peeps like me enjoy racingandI need to look like I’m possibly Rebel if someone can see past the glamor. Just because he can barely admit he wants me, much less figure out if he’s bi-curious, doesn’t mean you need to fight like dumbasses.”
Archie, Javi, and the twins are all silent for a second, then burst into howls of laughter. I grin at my stepbrother, shrugging when he scowls darkly.
“You bring it on yourself,” I sing-song as I round the car to pop the hood. “Maybe you shouldn’t take yourself so damn seriously.”
Snorting, he walks to the trunk, pulling out what we need from it as he mutters, “Maybe you’re right.”
I’d call that a win any fucking day.
Get It Together
Rogue is the only person I’ve ever known who can call me on my bullshit so damn thoroughly. My friends aren’t bad, but she’salwayscould nail me to the wall—figuratively—and it’s aggravating as fuck now. All of them being able to be affectionate and flirty in public without worrying about what the consequences will be is grinding my gears.
But I can’t figure out how to accept what I’m being offered.
It’s not the ‘step’ thing; Rogue and I are not remotely blood related, nor have I really thought of her that way since puberty, despite the front I put up for appearances. I just… I don’t know how to let someone in, especially someone I don’t want to hurt. It’s weird that getting what I’ve always wanted is causing me such issues, but I guess that’s because I convinced myself it would never happen. I’m not comfortable with the possibility of being happy.
“There’s one for a goddamn therapist,” I mutter as I lean over the engine, moving through my checklist before the slot I’m going to take.
“What was that?” Angelo’s head peeks around the hood and I jerk up, banging my head on it hard. He laughs, watching me spit curses as I back up and try to clear the circling ducks from my vision.
“Nothing, asshole. Just talking to myself.”
He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. “Dude, you’re a hot fucking mess. Why are you acting like such a bitch? We all know you’ve coveted our girl since your dick started twitching in puberty. Get it together.”
Jesus, everyone fucking knew, and I was working my ass off to pretend otherwise—what a fucking farce.
Damon walks around the other side of my car, giving me a smirk. He’s cocky as shit since he mated with Rogue, and it suits him. I don’t know how well it will play with his dickface father, but that’s a problem for later. The chaos demon tilts his head as he watches me, then finally speaks. “Look, man. I know it’s hard to switch gears on a dime. I’m not great with change, either. Alcohol absolutely helped me, so I cheated a bit. But once it washappening, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. And now…”
His twin grins broadly. “Now it’s fucking baller and you’re missing out because you’re being a pansy. Every single one of us worried about fucking up—trust me. We’ve been Rogue’s protectors and admirers in secret for so long that it was like a three hundred and sixty degree turn to have her welcome us into her bed.”
“At least you didn’t purposely put her in a weird box to help yourself cope,” I grumble. “I’m not wigging out about that as much as possibly hurting her on accident.”
“She’s a big girl now, Reb. You’ve pretended you’re in charge of her, although she does what and who she wants and has for years. You gotta accept who our girl is now and run with that.” Angelo shrugs as he leans in to point out something I need to adjust, and I nod at him.
“I guess that’s where I’m struggling. You know I have… kinks.”
Both of the demon twins burst out laughing, clutching their sides at the joke that’s apparently on me. I growl as I pick up the wrench I need, waiting for them to get over it and explain. Finally, Damon does, shaking his head. “Rebel, Rogue is bent like a paperclip. She’s got Javi and me in the palm of her hand, Archie and Angelo battle her, and you’ll have to find your own role with her. But I guarantee none of your shit clashes with hers.”
“But you have to fuckingtalkto her, you dumbshit,” Angelo adds with a glare. “Because we all have.”
I arch a brow, tilting my head as I study him. “Maybe about bedroom shit, but you didn’t tell her she’s going to be a fucking demon queen someday.”
They both turn bright at that, shrugging and both saying in unison, “We thought it was a future Gemini problem.”
Rolling my eyes, I let out a slow breath of annoyance. “She knows about the pride and the odyssey, right?”
Damon blinks, tilting his head. “I don’t know, honestly. It’s not come up yet, but I know Javi and Archie have discussed how we’d approach their families. But maybe not… the responsibilities they’re supposed to take over. They never talk about that shit; Archie keeps hoping if he’s playing one of his brothers will take the seat.”
“And Javi pretends his parents don’t exist, much less the whole damn community. You know that.”
I groan, swiping my hand down my face. “This is going to be a disaster.”
“Maybe we handle one thing at a time, man. Right now, you have to figure out your end. Once that’s solid, we’ll bring in the other stuff.” Angelo scratches his chin, then shrugs. “Or who knows? It’ll all go to hell at this universal meeting and we’ll deal with it all at once, like we did Luca.”