Page 24 of Raven's Daggers
Tossing and turning, I finally roll over and see it's dark outside. Getting up and walking to my desk, I grab one of my daggers and stand by the window.
“No one will ever want a broken girl like you. You will never find anyone who loves you, Sweetness.” His voice is so fucking loud right now.
“I will be the only one to own this cunt. I will be the only one who gets to love you.” His taunts never ending.
“Their feelings aren’t real, they just want my pussy.” I whisper to no one. I can’t. I can’t take it anymore. It’s too much.
Fuck this.Twirling the dagger around my finger, I do something I haven’t done in a long time. Bringing the blade to my wrist, I slowly drag it across my skin.Let all the pain out.Watching the blood flow and drip to the floor, I bring the blade to the other wrist and do the same.Feel. I don’t want to feel.
Chapter fifteen
Raven
Bitch, get it together! This isn’t who we are anymore! We don’t let him win!
Walking to the bathroom, I get the first aid kit from under the sink. I clean the cuts and wrap my wrists in bandages. I don’t know if I ever truly wanted to end my life, or just try and purge all the bad thoughts. After cleaning up the blood and wrappers from the counter, then wiping up the mess on my bedroom floor, I walk back to my bed to try to get some sleep.
The sound of my security system being disarmed pulls me from my sleep. Slipping out of bed, I grab my gun from the desk and carefully make my way to my bedroom door, standing quietly against the wall in the darkness. The floor creaks as I hear someone attempting to sneak their way up the stairs and their movements stop. I wait, quietly, and once they are in the doorway, I turn and point the gun right at them. I can’t see who it is with how dark I keep my house, but their silhouette looks tall, so I try to aim for what I think is their face.
“Who the fuck are you, and how did you turn my alarm off?” I spit out. Already mad from my shit day.
“Whoa, whoa, Tesora. It’s Luis, Jesus Christ. I just came to check on you. No one has seen or heard from you since yesterday morning.” He quickly replies, his voice laced with concern.
“For fucks sake. How the hell did you disarm my security alarm?” I seethe, loosening the grip on my gun.
He chuckles, “Oh that, I um, may have hacked into that a while ago. That's how I knew your gate code the night we drove you home after the race.”For the love of God. I never even thought about that until now.
Rolling my eyes, I lower the gun and walk back to the desk to lay it down. “What would you have done if I shot first verse trying to ask questions?” I ask, putting my hands on my hip and quirking my brow.
“Well, I’m definitely glad you asked questions first. I don’t really wanna die by your hands. Considering.” He states as he walks further in my room.
“Considering what? Did you bring your posse with you?” I quip. Turning to look at him.
“No, it's just me. I told them to chill and I would come look for you. And I meant, considering I’m starting to have feelings for you, Raven. That's what I meant by it.” He retorts, reaching out and grabbing my hand to sit on the bed with him. The moonlight pours in from the window, letting in a light glow. Being this close, I can make out his face, seeing the concerned look in his eyes.
“No one wants to feel things for a broken girl.” I whisper, doubting he can even hear me while looking away from his intense stare. He pulls my face back to his and holds it before he lowers his voice,
“You aren’t broken, Princess. You have your demons, just like the rest of us. But you have to fight them, don’t let them win.You own that shit.” He whispers against my lips. Feeling tears pool in my eyes, I try to pull away from his grasp so he can’t see them, but he doesn’t let up. Instead, he pulls me in for a kiss, but not just any kiss either; it feels like my body is being set on fire. He kisses me until all the air is pulled from me and we both pull away panting. Letting go of my face, he grabs my hands and starts rubbing circles on my wrists. When I jerk away suddenly, he turns and reaches for the bedside lamp, turning it on. He grabs my hands, pulling them towards him and looks at the bandages on my wrists, then at me.
“I am broken, and I don’t know if I can ever be fixed. I wasn't meant to be cared for by anyone.” I struggle to get the words out, trying to wipe the tears from my eyes before they fall.
“Come lay back down, we don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want to. And just so you know, we don’t want to fix you babe, we fell for you just the way you are.” He reassures me.
I hesitate before moving towards him and laying down. But when he pulls me close to his chest and takes my hand in his, I can’t help but feel something for him. Rolling over to face him, I whisper,
“I don’t know what these feelings are that I have for you, but I'm glad I didn’t shoot you in the face tonight.” Giving him a small laugh, he starts to chuckle, pulling my leg over his hip.
“Me too babe, me too.” He replies in a soft and soothing voice.
Closing my eyes, I lay there against his chest and start to drift off. I’m not sure how any of these three guys makes me feel safe, but laying here with Luis, I know that I am. Even from my own mind.
Waking up the next morning, I notice Luis is missing. I lay there and my phone starts vibrating. Rolling my eyes, I slip out of bed and make my way downstairs. Walking into the kitchen, there's already a cup of coffee and a plate sitting on the counter.He’s still here. Why does that make me feel better?
“Morning.” I greet and sit down, taking a long sip of my coffee.
“Morning, Bella Ragazza, how did you sleep?” He asks, coming to sit next to me. When his phone starts ringing, he answers it and I can hear Reyes on the other side.
“Yes, I’m still here, and yes she's fine from what I can tell.”