Page 13 of The Quirky Vet

I'm rifling through Fitz's closet, and if he ever decides to give up being a vet, he could totally open the most awesome costume hire shop in the state of Queensland. As I search for the specific shirt he asked me to find, my eyes roam over a greatest hits collection of the outfits he's worn over the years—a bright-yellow banana suit, a full-body inflatable T-rex costume, a couple of disco ball helmets, a plush giant cheeseburger, a walking vending machine complete with transparent plastic windows showing faux snacks inside, and it goes on…

I let out a low whistle.

I knew these outfits from his videos, but seeing them all lined up is something else. He's amassed an impressive collection since he started posting videos online back when Tumblr was still a thing. Being good-looking, charming, willing to act a fool, and spotlighting injured animals and cute Aussie wildlife helped him build up a small but loyal following.

And then the bloody panny hit in 2020, and with everyone locked inside baking banana bread and trying not tolose their minds, his TikTokreallytook off. He went from a few thousand followers to amassing hundreds of thousands in less than a year.

He loves doing these videos, and I couldn't be happier for the world to get a glimpse of the awesomeness I'm lucky enough to experience close up and in real life every day. He may not have set out to become an influencer, but he brings fun and joy and light into people's lives. And in the hellscape we're living in today, that's a precious gift.

My eyes land on the shirt he asked me to find.

"Here you go." I place it on his bed, graphic side up, and smile.Aussie Vets Do It Better.

He stops blowing on his fingertips. "Thanks, mate." The timer on his phone starts ringing. "That'll be my hair." He carefully picks the shirt up—I guess his nails aren't dry yet—and goes to shower the hair dye off. "You know, I have a spare shirt in your size if you want to step out from behind the camera and join me."

"Ha! Not gonna happen." I laugh as he disappears into the bathroom.

It's not the first time he's asked, and I'm sure it won't be the last, but it's clear who the star of this friendship duo is, and it ain't me.

I'm a behind-the-scenes guy. The man behind the man. Sometimes he'll wrangle me into wearing a silly shirt to match him around the clinic or around town. That's fine. Posting shit online for billions of people to see, though. Yeah, pass.

Hmm. Maybe I am alittleuptight.

Probably comes from being brought up in a home where sharing thoughts and feelings was pretty much off-limits. It was Mum's way or the highway, and if I ever spoke up, there'd be consequences. Her go-to punishment was icing me. I fucking hated enduring days of her silent treatment. I'd always cave first and apologise, even if I wasn't in the wrong, just to get it over with. Eventually, I learned to keep my mouth shut. It was just easier that way.

No surprise then that Mum and I aren't particularly closethese days. She has a tendency to treat people like shit, and I have a tendency to call out people who treat others like shit. Not exactly a recipe for a close and happy family.

While Fitz is showering, I fiddle around with the ring lights and tripod stand. It's a pretty simple shoot today. No dancing, no outdoor setting, no unpredictable urinating koalas to contend with, just Fitz and Tilly, his adorable, fourteen-year-old Border Collie.

I walk over to her sleeping on her bed in the corner of the room. "Hey, Miss Tilly. You ready to get your influencer on?"

She makes regular appearances in Fitz's videos, and people love theleave me the fuck alonevibes she gives off.

Her deep chocolate-brown eye opens, and she smiles groggily at me, her mouth parting open just a little. I give the old girl a few pats. She's had a tough life. Fitz adopted her when she was eight. She'd been abandoned after getting hit by a car, which led to her losing an eye. But she's a trooper, and despite her advanced years, her sleek black-and-white coat, though grizzled around the edges, still shines.

I'm crouched down beside her, scratching behind her ears, when Fitz comes back in, freshly showered. "What do you think?"

I stand and spin around and whoa…What do I think?

I think Australia's gun laws aren't tough enough because the way his biceps bulge in that tightAussie Vets Do It Bettershirt should be i-fucking-legal.

"What are you looking at?" he asks, so I lift my gaze as he points to his head. "I mean my beard and hair. How does it look?"

Oh.

He means the shock of newly dyed neon green on top of his head that I somehow missed because I was too busy checking his fine-as-heck body out.

Shit.

"It looks great," I mutter, heat rising up my neck. "I might need to adjust the lighting, though, to, uh, colour correct."

Colour correct. Yeah. That sounds like a real thing…right?

I make a beeline for the ring light, which has everything to do with being dedicated to ensuring this video is lit up correctly and nothing to do with trying to ignore the fact I just openly ogled my bestie.

"You okay, mate?" he asks, guiding Tilly into position.

I stop adjusting the tripod and force a smile. "Yep. Couldn't be better. You ready?"