Page 58 of The Quirky Vet
Linus smiles. "Yeah. It was. Rare back in those days, too."
"So…you weren't just attracted to him, then, but to other guys, right?"
"Yeah."
I process that for a moment. "Huh."
"Why?"
"Is it…is it possible to only be attracted to one specific person of the same sex?"
"Of course it is."
"It's not weird?"
"Mate, it's not anything. We can't help who we're attracted to. I couldn't help having the hots for Oakey even though he wasstraight. It's what we do about our feelings that matters. For me, if someone is in a relationship, they're automatically off-limits. Or if they're my best mate's son who happens to be sixteen years younger than me, is currently my employee,andI had a crush on his dad decades ago, that's a big no-no, too."
I sink lower in my seat, feeling like shit. All this time we've been giving the guy grief about Ryde without knowing the full story. "Hey, look. Sorry about?—"
"Yeah, yeah. It's all good. You had no idea." He slides the chair back from the desk, then crosses one leg over the other. "Your question. It wasn't really about me, but your feelings for Muir, yeah?"
I nod. "Yeah."
It feels a bit weird to be opening up to Linus about this since normally Muir is the one I go to with my stuff, but since Muir isthe stuff, I think it's better to get someone else's take on this. A fresh perspective.
"Getting accidentally married can do things to a guy," Linus says.
"It's not that," I counter. "Well, it's not just that. It might've been the catalyst, but we've, uh, started doing…stuff."
"What sort of stuff?" he asks. "And if you don't want to say, that's fine. But if you do, you have my word that it won't go any further."
"Thanks." I weigh it up for a minute and decide to confide in him. Linus is a man of his word, and I know that what I'm about to say won't ever get repeated. "We've been kissing quite a bit. And we jacked off in my shower after Pride."
Linus keeps his face perfectly neutral, not showing any outward sign of surprise. "And how do you feel about that?"
"Yeah, fine. Good. Great, actually. I really enjoyed it."
"And how's Muir?"
"He's enjoying it, too."
"That's good." Linus smiles warmly. "So that covers the physical side of things. What about the emotional side?"
"What about the emotional side?"
"Well, you guys are already close. Has what you're doing physically affected your friendship in any way? Good or bad?"
I cock my head to the side, thinking it through. "Things were a little wonky at the start when we first got back from the Goldie, but we talked and got it sorted."
"That's really good. Communication is key."
"Things just feel…right. You know?" I say, and Linus nods. "But what does it mean?"
"What do you want it to mean?"
"If I knew that, I wouldn't be asking."
He chuckles quietly. "That's not something I, or anyone else, can answer for you. Only you can figure out what you want. Just keep talking as you go through it, and you'll figure it out."