Page 98 of Hotter 'N Hell

“Me touching your hair?” I asked hopefully. Wanting to comfort him somehow, but not knowing what to do.

“Yes.”

I started at the top and slowly moved back through it again but down the other side. When my fingers hit something hard and matted hair stopped me, he made a pained sound, and I jerked my head back. That was blood.

“He has dried blood in his hair,” I told Bane.

He glanced up from his phone. “Where they hit him on the head to knock him out before they brought him here,” he replied,then looked back down at the screen in his hand.

“What?” I asked, hoping to God he was joking.

Bane’s annoyed gaze shot back up. “I spoke clearly, Saylor.”

“Why would they hit his head and knock him out?”

“Because that is typically what we do when we want to get someone quickly and without fuss.” His expression said he thought I was an idiot.

I took a steadying breath and turned back to Jude. “I bet you are really wishing you’d sent me to another church that first day,” I muttered, then used the palm of my hand to wipe at my soaked cheeks. “God, this is awful.”

The touch of his hand grabbed the side of my thigh lightly. “No. Never that.”

My eyes filled up immediately, and my mouth turned down at the corners, unable to help myself. I wanted to throw my arms around him and weep. But since he had been beaten and was suffering because of me, I couldn’t touch him. When Bane helped Doc Burl get him out of here, he’d probably ask that I wasn’t allowed near him. Right now, I was just all he had.

“Saylor.” My name was stronger than the other things he’d said, but still a struggle.

“Yes. You want more ice?” I asked, reaching into the cup to get another slice.

“Look at me.”

I lifted my eyes to his, wishing I could see the lush green color looking back at me.

“I love you.”

The three words I would have given anything to hear him say just two hours ago. But not like this. Not when he had been beaten and tortured to get him to say it. That wasn’t the love I wanted.

“No, you don’t. And no one is going to touch you again or hurt you because of it. I swear. They will all be recovering fromthe gunshot wound I intend to give them. Now, eat some more ice, and don’t worry about telling me things you think I want to hear.”

I slipped the melting ice into his mouth.

The hand that had touched my thigh closed around mine. I dropped my eyes to look at him holding on to me. The horror that was his wrist sent another wave of misery through me.

“I love you.” His words were stronger now.

I closed my eyes not sure I was sane enough to survive that.

“Jude. Don’t. Please.”

His hand tightened on my wrist. “I chose you.”

The bitterness in my chest felt foreign right now.

“You chose me after your life depended on it.” A humorless laugh passed my lips. “It’s fine. I will recover eventually. Find the courage to open my heart again, or maybe, like you, I can make some vows and become a nun.”

I just ignored Bane’s bark of laughter behind me.

“Not a priest. I chose you.”

Maybe he was hallucinating from the blunt force trauma to his head. I’d tell Dr. Burl when he got here. That should be checked.