Page 62 of Little Psycho
“Okay, what’s so fucking important?”Ash’s deep, raspy voice is low, but I still hear him clearly.
“We don’t have much time, and you might not believe me...but Calista is back.”I breathe a sigh of relief, feeling some of the stress dissipate but not all of it.
“Wait, what?”Kill’s jaw drops in disbelief as his eyes flick frantically between me and Ash.
“You fucking heard me.Calista.Is.Back,“ I tell them slowly, getting annoyed that they’re not grasping what the fuck I’m saying.
“Hold up.What do you mean she’s back?Didn’t we assume it was her all along?”Ash takes out his little pouch from the coffee table drawer, pulling his straw and baggie of coke out, rapidly making himself a line.
“We did, yeah, but last night she showed up in my room.”
Crickets.
“I thought she was going to fucking kill me...but obviously she didn’t,” I laugh, trying to ease the thick tension surrounding us, but it doesn’t work.
“What did she want?What did she do?Where is she now?”Kill’s mind races with questions that spill out of his mouth like vomit, unable to stop them.
“I don’t know, man.I don’t fucking know,” I growl, the frustration evident in my voice as I light a cigarette and take a hit, intensifying the dope high that’s still coursing through my veins.“She said she’s back to collect what’s owed to her and then she left.She’ll be back, though, and she plans on talking to you guys too.”
“We’d better find out what the fuck is going on,” Ash grumbles, sniffing another line before lighting his cigarette.
“You think we can trust her this time?”Kill wonders out loud, his eyes searching mine for reassurance.
I let out a heavy sigh, running my hand through my messy hair.“I don’t know if we can trust her, but we don’t have much of a choice.We owe her, like she said, and besides, who the fuck are we to bitch about trust?She didn’t break ours; we fucking broke hers.”
The sound of the storm outside mirrors the brewing chaos inside our apartment.I can feel the tension and guilt building, and I know that the calm before the storm is about to break.We have no idea what kind of game Calista is playing—if any—but I know that we’re in it now, whether we like it or not.
“She spent the night,” I continue, waiting for the fall out.But shockingly, there is none.They’re still too stunned to comprehend the severity of the situation.
“You fucked her, didn’t you?”Kill smirks, his shoulders relaxing slightly.
“I did, yeah.I couldn’t help it.She was there, on top of me, and it brought back all of my feelings for her… I couldn’t resist her.”I shrug, shocked that they’re not ripping me the fuck apart.
“Man,” Ash sighs, leaning back, his pupils huge and black.“I fucking miss her too.I probably would’ve done the same shit, Dom.”
“No lie, me too,” Kill adds, grinning with hazy eyes, as if recalling a memory with her in it.
As the dark clouds continue to cover the sky and the rain outside keeps pouring down, I can’t help but feel like we’re standing on the edge of something big.Something dangerous.But for the first time in a long time, I’m ready to face it head-on because I know, deep down, that coming back into our lives was no accident for Calista.
TWENTY-FIVE
SPIRALING
PSYCHO BITCH—TECH N9NE
CALISTA
Itightly hold the warm Styrofoam cup from Dunkin filled with delicious, creamy coffee, bringing the lid to my lips for a slow, long slip.As the liquid glides down my throat, I feel a comforting warmth spreading inside me.The taste of the sweet caramel syrup mixed with the caffeine replaces the bitter aftertaste of my medication, and I try to savor every sip.
Walking in the rain, I move at a leisurely pace with a slight limp from the sharp pain shooting through my hip due to the intense, much-needed night with Dom last night.I never intended for him to wake up while I was fucking him, but a part of me is glad that he did.
Although there was something sexy as fucking sin riding him and watching his closed lids twitch back and forth and a smoldering grin dance along his lips.He looked peaceful.He looked gorgeous.Most importantly, he looked fucking happy.
I wonder what that feels like...
However, after such an intimate moment, I was—and still am—left grappling with the consequences of my actions.Being willingly intimate with Dom—something I had never done before—exceeded my expectations, but my troubled mind still fears he might regret it all.
Was it a pity fuck?A fuck out of fear I might kill him?A fuck of convenience?Or was it real?