Page 7 of Halftime

Yeah, I had said all that. Damn it. I wanted to hang out with my teammates. Especially after the thing on the ice today. I didn’t want them to think, like Coach did, that I didn’t want to be part of the team. That I thought I was too good for them or only wanted to play with the guys.

There was a chance that Seb wouldn’t be there. If he was… Well, it was a party, right? According to Penny, the hockey parties were the best parties on campus. That meant a lot of people. I could avoid Seb, couldn’t I? I absolutely could.

“You’re right, we should go.”

Penny actually bounced with excitement. She looked like a little copper-haired Yorkie high on sugar and dancing around the room at the chance to go for a walk.

Penny and I were roommates because we were both freshies and had both signed up for the Wellness Environment, or WE residence. I’d wanted to be here because I already was on a special diet for the hockey team. This was the “healthy” res, and my main goal was getting ice time. Eating healthily, without a lot of temptations, was a no brainer.

Penny was in the dorm so she wouldn’t get fat. Her words. She was this tiny pixie of a thing, and I was an elephant next to her. She was five foot nothing, and I guessed a size zero or two. I was just half an inch under six feet and a hockey player. I felt…not very feminine around her. I’d always been the tall, big girl in my classes. I shoved my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and my keys in the front.

“Ready?”

Penny was staring at me. “Are you not going to change? Or anything?”

I looked down at myself, as if I didn’t know what I had on. This is what I wore. Jeans. Not skirts or dresses, because my legs were thick and muscled and not slender. I didn’t show my upper arms and shoulders because they were muscled, too.

Penny’s eyes went wide. “I’m so sorry. I mean, if you want to cover yourself or hide…or something like that. I mean, you don’t have to tell me if anything happened to you. Just, um, forget what I said.” She plastered this crazy grin on her face.

Shit. I didn’t need her to think I was wounded or damaged or something.

“Penny, I’m fine. I’m just not a girlie girl, so I’m not going to dress up.”

Penny blinked at me. Had there been something in my tone? “A girlie girl? What’s that supposed to mean?” She sounded upset, and I hadn’t meant to do that. Or maybe I had. Because the differences between the two of us were obvious.

“I’m not like you. Tiny and pretty and girlie.”

“Are you serious? I mean, really serious with that shit?”

Okay, she was definitely pissed. I waved a hand at her. “Like you can’t see how different we are?”

She had her hands on her hips and looked like a pissed-off pixie. “I know I’m short, thanks very much. And I don’t like to sweat, so I’m not in super shape like you. But that doesn’t mean I’m ‘girlie’. Are you saying girls can’t have muscles? Can’t be tall? What exactly is your problem?”

How did I explain this without making her even more upset?

“It’s just that you look like girls in magazines and movies. I don’t.”

Penny shook a finger in my face. “I don’t know who did this to you, but you are just as girlie as you want to be, whether you look like you or like me. I’ve seen some of the women hockey players here. They wear makeup and pretty dresses, so don’t tell me you can’t dress up if you want.”

I hadn’t seen any of my teammates except at practice so far, and none of them wore makeup then. I mean, it would be sweat off halfway through. And no one had pretty dresses at practice. Tonight was my first chance to hang out with them out of the arena or weight room. Maybe things were different here. Maybe jeans and a T-shirt weren’t going to cut it.

“When did you see the women’s team?”

Pixie girl rolled her eyes at me. “I did research! I looked at their Insta accounts and school media pictures. I didn’t just look at the guys.”

I’d narrowed my research to hockey on the ice. Maybe this wasn’t like my team back home. Maybe they’d all be dressed up, and I’d look stupid if I showed up like this. I didn’t need any more marks against me.

I glanced over at Penny. She still had her hands on her hips. I sighed. “I don’t know how to be a girlie girl.”

Just like that, the anger was gone. She came over and patted my arm. “Oh, sweetie, I can help.”

For a moment, I worried. I had no idea what this girl might do to me. Then I remembered Seb. Seb and his probable girlfriend. I was sure she knew how to dress and look pretty. Suddenly, I wanted to look good. Like a girlie girl. Like someone he didn’t know.

I put myself in Penny’s hands.

Penny was discouraged at the start. Sharing clothes was obviously never going to happen, but she went through my wardrobe to find what she thought was the best outfit for the party. She muttered under her breath about a lot of my stuff, but she did finally find something she could live with. My mother must have bought and packed the skirt, because I swear, I don’t remember seeing it before.

I thought my legs looked…too bulky. Too muscled. Penny shook her finger at me again and told me to stop being stupid. The tank top was plain, but she dug into her own jewelry box to find some dangly necklaces. She didn’t like the little bit of makeup I had, but she did her best with me. I only had flat sandals, and that passed her approval. Even in flats, I was taller than a lot of guys. I always wore my hair either in a ponytail or braid. I was used to long hair, and I liked the way my helmet fit with it. I pulled it back, but Penny told me my hair was gorgeous and insisted I wear it down.