Page 45 of Dark Christmas

I try to wave it off, standing up and moving toward the door. “You know, I don’t really need to take it right now.”

Claire gives me a deadpan look, arms crossed. “Girl, you’re being ridiculous. You need to know if you’re pregnant.”

She finds a test, handing it over like it’s no big deal. “Look, I get that you’re nervous,” she says, her voice softening, “but it’s important you know right away so you can make whateverdecision you’re going to make.”

I already know what I’d do if I’m pregnant. I’m keeping the baby, no question. But what about Melor? He’s got enough going on without throwing a kid into the mix.

Claire’s eyes narrow. “Hey, just breathe, okay? Don’t freak out. It’s just a test, and it only takes a few minutes. We’ll hang out in the nursery and talk baby stuff while we wait.”

My mind is swirling. She knows me so well. She already sees the panic in my eyes and is talking me down before I spiral. I take the test from her hand, knowing that whatever happens next, I’ll have to deal with it.

I try to lighten the mood with a joke. “Guess I’ll need to ask for some of those baby gifts back... might need them for myself.”

Claire laughs, rolling her eyes. “Okay, funny girl, now go pee on that damn thing already.”

I smirk, but the nerves are creeping in hard. Claire gives me a quick hug and heads to the nursery, promising to meet me there in a few minutes. With a deep breath, I glance at the test in my hand. Twominutes. That’s all it takes to potentially change my life.

I do my business, then sigh heavily as I wash my hands, nerves buzzing in my chest. I tuck the test into my pocket and head down the hallway to the nursery, where Claire’s already waiting for me. The second I step in, I’m hit with how adorable the space is. The walls are painted a soft pastel yellow, with cute animal decals scattered across them. There’s a white crib in the corner, a rocking chair, a changing table, and shelves filled with tiny baby clothes, books, and stuffed animals.

It’s perfect. Realizing I might have a baby of my own soon, emotions slam into me like a tidal wave. Tears fill my eyes before I can stop them.

Claire rushes over, pulling me into a tight hug. She quietly shuts the nursery door to give us some privacy. I lean into her, feeling completely overwhelmed.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she whispers, rubbing my back. “Having a baby is amazing. Being pregnant is wonderful, and just think—what if our kids become best friends? Or grow up and fall in love? That would be a full-circle moment.”

I choke out a small laugh through my tears. “It’s not just that, Claire. It’s...everything.”

She pulls back a little, frowning. “What do you mean, everything?”

And there it is—the truth about Melor—sitting heavy on my chest. The secret I’ve been keeping from her, from everyone. If I am pregnant, I’ll have to tell her. But right now, I’m not ready to open that can of worms.

“I don’t know, it’s just... a lot,” I say, dodging. Claire seems to sense I’m not ready to spill my guts and hands me some tissues. I wipe my eyes as she tries to lift my mood.

“Look, I was just about to show you the crib,” Claire says, pointing across the room. “And check out this super cute diaper bag, I had to have it.” She flashes a smile, doing her best to distract me.

I nod, grateful for the effort to take my mind off what could be an absolute life changer. But then I glance at my watch.

Time to face reality.

I pull the test out of my pocket and take a deep breath.

Positive.

The world tilts like it’s spinning out of control. My heart races, and everything around me feels too loud, too bright. Claire, sensing I’m on the verge of losing it, quietly guides me over to the rocking chair and gently pushes me down to sit.

“I think I’m having a panic attack,” I mutter, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps.

“Hey, deep breaths,” Claire says softly, standing in front of me. “In and out. You’ve got this.”

I close my eyes and try to focus on her voice, breathing in deeply, then exhaling slowly. It takes a minute, but the panic starts to subside, and soon enough, I’m back in the moment. When I open my eyes again, I see tears of happiness shining in Claire’s.

“Congratulations,” she whispers, squeezing my hand.

Oddly, I don’t feel bad. In fact, I feel clearheaded, like I can actually think straight for the first time in days. I take another deep breath and say, “I want to make sure. I need to see a doctor.”

“Of course,” Claire says. “I’ll give you the number for my OB. She’s great.”

She squeezes my hand again and smiles. “Everything’s going to be amazing. You’re going to be an incredible mom, Am. I just know it.”