Page 26 of Bolt's Flame
She didn’t answer right away, just stared at me for a second before nodding once. I took a seat beside her, close enough to feel the tension radiating between us, but far enough to give her space, and I knew I had to tread carefully here.
“I was lookin’ for you earlier,” I said after a beat, keeping my voice soft. “Figured we could talk.”
Fiona’s eyes flicked to mine. “About what?”
She wasn’t going to make this easy. “About what I said the other night.”
She didn’t flinch, didn’t look away, but I could see the stiffness in her shoulders, the way she was bracing herself. “You don’t have to explain. I get it.”
“No, you don’t.” I took a deep breath, running a hand through my hair. “I was out of line, and I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
For a moment, the silence hung between us, thick and heavy. Fiona’s fingers twisted at her neck, and when she finally spoke, her voice was soft and curious. “Why did you say it?”
“I was angry,” I admitted, feeling the weight of the truth settle between us. “But that’s no excuse. I don’t know why you stayed with him, Fiona, and it’s not my place to judge, it’s just that when I was a kid, my mom stayed, and I could never figure out why, and part of me hated her for it.” I shrugged, grappling for words to explain myself. “It eats away at me that I never got that answer from her, and I took it out on you.”
She gazed at me, her eyes searching mine, and for the first time, I saw something soften. It wasn’t forgiveness, not yet, but it was something close.
“You watched your mom get beaten?” she asked softly, realization dawning in her eyes. “That’s why you’re trying to figure me out so you can figureherout.”
I sighed, looking into the night sky and replied, “Partly, yes.” I paused, grappling for the right words before continuing. “But it’s not only that, with you there’s so much more, but I just can’t understand why she just wouldn’t walk away, not even when I promised to protect her.”
“You can’t understand what it was like,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “The fear, it paralyzes you, and for a long time, part of you believes he will change... it’s so hard to explain the fear, the trap those mean snakes set for you before they bite you. It’s like you’re in a prison where he trains you with fear, so you’ll never leave.”
“But he put his hands on me too,” I argued, even as I told myself to shut the fuck up. “She still stayed, just told me to not interfere, to let him beat her.”
Fiona gazed at me, her eyes now the darker blue, telling me she was getting upset. “On that, I can’t help you. I didn’t have any children. After the first two miscarriages, I made sure to get a shot to prevent pregnancy. James never knew, just assumed his abuse prevented any babies.”
“I’m sorry, Fiona,” I said, wanting to comfort her, but holding back, not wanting to overstep.
She shook her head before lowering her head and murmuring, “I would like to think I would have run if I had a child, in my mind I would have. But I won’t judge your mom because I just don’t know. It’s hard to explain, hard for the mind to grasp how twisted your world becomes.”
“You’re right,” I said softly. “I don’t understand. But I want to. I want to make this right, Fiona. I want to get to know you, really know you.”
She was quiet for a long moment, and I could see the struggle on her face. The walls she’d built were high, but they weren’t impenetrable. Not if I kept pushing. Not if I was careful.
“I don’t know... you and...” she finally said, her voice laced with doubt.
“Me and what?” I asked, my gaze steady on her.
She took a deep breath and looked at me, her eyes sad. “Because, Bolt, you play around with all the women here and...” her words faltered, before she dropped her eyes. “Look, I feel some weird connection to you, and I don’t want to foster it only to be hurt. Only a few minutes ago, you came out of the woods with Jenny.”
Holy shit, she felt the connection, too. I’m not fucking crazy.
“Fiona, listen to me, the sweet butts tend to come on strong, but since you came around, I haven’t been interested. I’ve beenconfused and distracted by you, and Jenny followed me. Nothin’ happened tonight or any other night since I came to your house.”
“I don’t know. Heck, I don’t even know your real name.”
“It’s Kye... Kye Williams, now you know,” I replied, realizing she was the first woman in probably fifteen years to know my civilian name.
“Kye... it fits you, but then so does Bolt,” she murmured, her eyes studying me. “But still...”
“What could it hurt to spend time together, see what’s happenin’ between us?”
“Because, if those women are what interested you before me, then I have nothing to offer a man like you.”
“Bullshit, I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but havin’ a quickie with someone doesn’t always equate to theinterestedI think you’re meanin’.”
“I still don’t know. I guess I’m just afraid of getting hurt.”