Page 28 of Bolt's Flame
I swallowed hard, the familiar knot tightening in my chest as I remembered the slow, insidious way everything had fallen apart. The hard part, how to explain it.
“It wasn’t always like that,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. “At first, he was... perfect. He made me feel like I was everything to him. We met at the farmer’s market, and he came every Saturday morning, looking so handsome, with a huge smile on his face. When we started dating, he was every girl’s dream. Good looking, loving, and had a good job as an insurance agent.”
I stopped for a second, taking a deep breath. Damn, this was hard to talk about.
“But then it changed.Slowly, little things until he controlled everything. What I wore, who I could see, the money. It didn’t seem like a big deal at first. I thought it was his way of loving me. I thought he was caring for me.”
I hesitated again, the memories too raw, too close.
“By the time I realized what was happening, I was trapped and when I complained, he started getting physical. He made it seem like it was my fault and at first, I believed it. Figured if I just did better, if I just stopped arguing with him, he wouldn’t get angry. I even tried running a few times. He caught me before I could even leave town, threatened to kill me, my dad, and anyone I loved.”
Bolt stopped walking, his jaw clenched, eyes dark as he looked out at the ocean. “You didn’t deserve that. Not for a second.”
I nodded, blinking back tears. “I know that,kneweven when it was happening. But at the time... it wasn’t that easy. He made me feel like I had no way out, made me believe even someone like my dad couldn’t help me. It took him putting a knife to my throat to make me realize he was going to end up killing me one day. I knew I had to call dad and get out.”
“He’s a dead man, Fiona!” Bolt growled, stopping us, looking into my eyes. “I promise you that.”
I sighed as we continued walking. “It’s because I love my dad that I don’t tell him the full extent of James’ abuse. He would kill him. I don’t want dad going to jail, the guilt and sadness would kill me. Same goes for you. I’ll separate from him within the confines of the law.”
The silence stretched between us, the sound of the waves filling the space. I could see something shifting in Bolt’s expression, something deeper than just anger at what had happened to me.
“I understand you feelin’ that way,” he said after a few moments, and I knew he didn’t care about the law. In the club, they had their own justice. “My mom... she must have felt the same way.”
I wanted to say something, but I could tell I just needed to let him talk without interruption.
“She stayed with my dad no matter what,” Bolt continued, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “He beat her all the time. Controlled her...and me. And I hated her for it. For not leavin’. For letting him treat her that way.” He shook his head, his fists clenched tight. “But now... hearin’ what you went through, I get it. It’s not that simple, is it? She needed more than me demandin’ she walk out the door.”
My throat tightened with all the memories this was bringing forth, making it hard to swallow, but I know talking about this was helping Bolt.
“Every situation is different, I imagine. I can’t say what she needed, but what I can say is in her mind she was trapped.”
“I judged her,” he admitted, his voice rough with emotion. “I judged you too. But I shouldn’t have. I just—” He broke off, shaking his head like he couldn’t find the words. “My mom... she’s dead, he killed her, he’s been sittin’ in the pen for going on twenty-years now.”
His words hit me hard. The weight of them settled deep in my chest. This was the man who’d always seemed so untouchable, so invulnerable, but here he was, opening up to me in a way I never expected.
I took a step closer to him, my heart pounding, as I wrapped my arms around him. “It’s okay, Bolt, you were a kid. There was no way for you to understand.”
He buried his face in my hair before pulling back, his eyes locking onto mine, and for the first time, I saw the vulnerability there. The anger, the pain, the regret was all there, laid bare. Hewasn’t just the tough, impenetrable biker I’d thought he was. He was human. And he was hurting, just like me.
“I cut her off after I moved out. I had begged her to leave with me and when she didn’t, I screamed at her for being weak and pathetic. She died that next year, thinkin’ I hated her,” he said, his voice low, sad.
I kept my arms around him, the warmth of his skin grounding me. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, not knowing what else to say.
For a moment, the only sound was the crashing of the waves, the wind blowing gently through the air. Then Bolt tilted his face closer to mine, his hand brushing against my cheek, his touch warm and gentle.
“I care about you Fiona,” he murmured, his breath warm against my skin. “And I swear I’m not out to hurt you.”
“I believe you,” I whispered back, my heart racing. “I feel safe with you, connected to you”
He leaned in even closer, his lips hovering just inches from mine, and I could feel the heat between us, the pull that had been building for weeks, maybe even since I set eyes on him. And when his lips finally touched mine, it was like everything else faded away. The past, the pain, the doubts—it all disappeared, leaving just the two of us standing there on the beach, wrapped up in each other.
The kiss was soft at first, tentative, but then it deepened, and I felt myself sinking into it. Bolt’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer, and for the first time in a long time, I let myself fall. I let myself be held, be wanted, tofeel.
When we finally pulled apart, I was breathless, my heart pounding in my chest. Bolt rested his forehead against mine, his breath coming in shallow, ragged bursts.
“I don’t know where this goes,” he said, his voice husky. “But I’m all in, Fiona. Whatever this is, I’m in.”
I smiled, the weight of the past still there, but lighter now. “Me too.”