Page 51 of Bolt's Flame
Moving as silently as possible, I tried to make my escape. But in my haste, I misjudged the edge of the swing. My leg hit it with a thud, causing it to bang against the side of the tree.
“Who the fuck is out here?” Gearhead’s voice broke through the night, his tone sharp and menacing. The sound of his zipper being hastily pulled up followed. “Fiona?” he asked, his voice laced with surprise and guilt.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, feeling my face flush with embarrassment as he moved closer, Tillie trailing behind him like a shadow. “I was already out here on the swing when you two started...”
Gearhead looked taken aback, clearly embarrassed and at a loss for words. Tillie, on the other hand, seemed unfazed. “Sorry Fiona,” she said, her voice casually dismissive. “Gearhead likes this spot, and we didn’t bother to check if we were alone.”
“Tillie, hush,” Gearhead admonished, but his warning fell on deaf ears.
“It’s fine. I’m going to head in and leave you two alone and Gearhead, the answer is no,” I said, my voice shaking as I turned on my heel and hurried away. The brief encounter had only served to shatter my faith in men even further. Just half an hour ago, Gearhead had asked me out and my dad was more than happy about it. And now this.
“Fiona wait,” Gearhead called after me, his voice loud in the quiet night. But his plea only spurred me on. What the hell is wrong with men?
I pulled open the clubhouse door and rushed inside, only to collide with a solid wall. A pair of familiar hands steadied me, preventing my fall. “Fiona,” Bolt’s voice rang out, causing me to jerk away from his touch. Without sparing him a glance, I hurried up the stairs and into the safety of my room.
Bolt didn’t waste any time following me. He stepped into the room just as I was catching my breath, his jaw set in a firm line, eyes blazing with frustration and anger. He closed the door behind him with a soft but deliberate click that sounded more like a trap than anything else.
“Fiona,” he said, his voice soft but filled with undisguised need. “We need to talk. Now.”
“Bolt, I...” I started, not knowing what to say or how to explain my feelings. But before I could gather my thoughts and form coherent sentences, he crossed the room in a few strides, standing right in front of me, arms crossed over his chest, his gaze steady and unyielding.
“Can you please just hear me out?” he demanded, his voice taut with restrained emotion.
I lifted my chin, meeting his intense gaze head-on. “We have nothing to talk about.”
“Don’t we?” he shot back, his eyes narrowing in challenge. “Because last I checked I thought we had somethin’.”
“Hadsomething is right,” I whispered, my voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart. But even to my own ears, it was clear that my words were laced with hurt and disappointment.
“We have somethin’ special, Fiona. That hasn’t changed,” he said, his voice rising just a notch. “Fiona, I don’t know what I can do to prove I didn’t fuck around on you. You promised not to runaway when things got tough. But the second somethin’ doesn’t go the way you expect, you push me away.”
I felt the anger rising in my chest. This wasn’t just some minor problem. “Finding you in bed with someone else isn’t a small problem,” I argued, matching his intensity with my own. “You cheated on me, Bolt.”
“I didn’t cheat on you!” He scoffed, running a hand through his hair, his gaze locked onto mine. “You think it’s easy for me? Standin’ here, feeling like no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, you’ll never believe me.”
I couldn’t help the bitterness that crept into my voice. “This isn’t easy for you? Try finding the man you care about in bed with a naked woman draped over him and a used condom on the floor. Plus, didn’t I just see you pressing that same woman against the building?”
His eyes flashed with frustration. “I was tryin’ to get her to admit she drugged me, and you only want to believe the worst. One stupid setup from a sweet butt who’s tryin’ to come between us, and you’re willing to believe her over me?”
“It’s not about believing her!” I said, my voice was shaking. “It’s about... about everything. I’m coming out of a horrible marriage, Bolt. I’ve been hurt, used, and beaten down. And sometimes, when things start feeling... too good, it scares me and for good reason.”
“Fiona, I’m not him,” he said, his voice softening for a moment, but the frustration was still there, simmering in his eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you like he did. I swear I didn’t fuck around on you. Just try to see what’s goin’ on here.”
I clenched my fists, feeling the weight of his words settle over me. “I am trying, Bolt. I’m trying, but it’s not that easy to just forget what I saw. You men around here have these women here for your pleasure and convenience, and that makes it hard totrust you. Hell, Gearhead just asked me out and not five minutes later he’s getting a blow job from Tillie.”
He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Fuck Gearhead and the sweet butts don’t mean shit to me. I’m not asking you to forget, Fiona. But I am asking you to stop treatin’ me like I’m the one who’s going to hurt you. Do you have any idea what it’s like, knowing that the woman I... care so much about doesn’t trust me?”
The word “care” hung in the air between us, heavy with all the things we weren’t saying. I could feel my own walls cracking, the hurt in his voice chipping away at the defenses I’d built so carefully. But my own fear, my own insecurities, were still there, clinging to me like shadows.
“I don’t know how to forget,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “Every time I get close, every time I start to believe, something pulls me back.”
“Well, maybe you need to figure that out,” he said, his voice tight. “Because I can’t keep standing here, waitin’ for you to decide if I’m worth the risk.”
The hurt in his eyes was almost too much to bear, and I almost gave in. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. “I just... I don’t know how to do this. How to let go of what happened.”
He let out a long breath, his gaze softening as he looked at me. “Fiona, it took me a lot to let you in and then you refuse to even listen to me, to believe in me.”
I swallowed hard as he walked out the door. He wasn’t asking for much, just a chance. “I’ll try,” I said to the empty room, the words shaky but real. “I’ll try, Bolt.”