Page 53 of Deck the Skulls
“Sure,” he agreed. “And a bowl of mixed fruit if you’ve got it.”
“Will always makes sure to have plenty of fruit for the bears,” Harper assured him before looking at Rissa. “Want anything besides the coffee?”
Rissa shook her head, so Harper poured coffee for Pike and left.
“You don’t have to ask me any questions,” Pike said at the same time Rissa asked her first question.
“Bear?”
“I’m a black bear shifter,” Pike explained with a little chuckle.
“And what’s Cora?” she asked.
“Human, like you,” Pike said. “She didn’t know anything about our world until she was kidnapped by a vampire named Vincent. I wish she was here to talk to you, human-to-human.”
Rissa blurted out the question that had been most prominent in her mind the entire night. “Will I lose myself? If I let Anatoly soul bond with me, will I still be me?”
Pike didn’t laugh off her question or look guilty like he was going to lie.
“You’ll still be you, but different,” he said. “All relationships change us, even if you were dating another human.”
“Doubt that,” she grumbled. “I don’t think I’ve ever been with a guy long enough to even meet his family, let alone change.”
“Let me rephrase,” Pike said, looking somber. “It’s not relationships that change us, but love. Not just romantic love. We change for friends and family too. The people who love us change for us. It’s a give and take. Becoming part of Anatoly’s flock will open you up to him and Zan. The soul bond is different with every flock, but you’ll be able to feel them to some degree. Sometimes all I get from Kimble or Cora are vague feelings, but other times, I can clearly hear what they’re thinking about.”
“Isn’t that horrible?” Rissa asked. “It’s an invasion of privacy.”
“We give up privacy all the time when we love people,” Pike said with a soft smile. “Besides, Anatoly can teach you how to wall off your mind.” He paused, then asked, “Are you scared you’ll lose your independence?”
“Well, yeah,” she said. “Didn’t I ask if I’d lose myself earlier?”
“Losing yourself is different than losing your independence,” Pike argued. “Losing yourself implies you won’t have free will. Losing your independence in this situation means you’ll never be alone again. You’ll have someone guarding or caring for you at all times. They’ll try to protect and shelter you, even if it annoys you.”
Rissa didn’t like the implication that she was weak or needy. “I’m tough,” she snapped. “I don’t need to be protected and sheltered. I was the one who put salt on all those creatures last night. I don’t walk away from a fight.”
Pike wasn’t upset by her harsh response. “You and Cora are going to be really good friends. She doesn’t like backing down either. The thing is, you’re going to need to be strong for Zan and Anatoly too.”
Her annoyance eased. “What do you mean?”
“Anatoly is vulnerable during the day. He will always need to be safeguarded from sunlight.”
Rissa nodded. “I can see that, but he has Zan to do the guarding.”
“Zan isn’t as helpful as you’d think,” Pike said and looked disapproving for the first time. “Zan doesn’t know how to sayno. He’s always helping everyone, which is great, but sometimes, he needs to refuse to help. He stretches himself thin and makes Anatoly worry. I remember hearing them argue once that Zan had been gone all day and Anatoly could only lie there and wait for him to come back. Their bond isn’t as strong as other flocks, so if they’re too far apart, they probably can’t feel each other.Zan is so busy saying yes to everyone else that he neglected the person he should care about the most, his mate.”
Rissa hadn’t expected that answer, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized how true it was. Zan was always rushing off during work hours now that she was there to tend the bar. Half the time, he forgot to bill the regulars at the end of the month. Those were only the things she’d witnessed, but there had to be more.
He needed someone to help him say no. She could be that person. The question was, did she want to be?
“There are a few practical things you need to know before you agree to soul bond,” Pike said. “The vampire benefits because bonding with us keeps them from going feral. Or in the case of my Kimble, it can bring them back from being feral.”
“Feral?” she asked. “Anatoly mentioned that, but what does it actually mean?”
“They lose higher reasoning skills and start becoming the monsters of legend,” Pike explained. “You’ll keep Anatoly from going feral, and he’ll keep you at this same age forever. On top of not aging, you’ll also get a little stronger and more resilient. Cora calls herself human+ because of the bond and a magical necklace Kimble gave her.”
“Human+, I like it,” Rissa said. “What else do I need to know?”
“Soul bonds are forever. You can’t take them back. The only way the bond ends is because someone dies,” Pike said bluntly.