Page 7 of Wishes for August

“Not since the day she left. I doubt I will hear from her unless she suddenly has a change of heart about Hamlet.” The “she” in this conversation was my ex - Dina.

I’d met Dina in a club in London and we hit it off straight away. I had been with some work colleagues and she was part of a hen party. Someone in our group had gone off to speak to one of the girls in her group and the next thing we’d all been together, talking and dancing. As the night went on, we drifted closer, leaning into each other to talk over the music and later getting up to dance. By the end of the night, I asked her if she wanted to come home with me and she’d said yes.

And from there we’d grown closer until suddenly we were dating. She met my folks and my sister and came to Christmas lunch and the next thing we were buying a house. It moved pretty fast, but I went with it. She was fun to be around, and it felt good being with her. For the most part, I was happy but truth be told, I had expected to feel something different, something more electric. At least that is how I had always thought I would feel when I met my life partner.

My parents were the picture of a happy marriage. My father treated my mother like she was precious metal. He doted on her and I am sure he would have given her the stars if she’d asked for them. I always wanted a love like theirs and though I hadn’t felt that sort of love with Dina, I felt a contentment that kept me warm and for me, that had been enough. Being with her fulfilled another part of my mapped out life plan and besides, I had begun to believe what my parents had was one in a million anyway.

My sister’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. “I don’t know what you saw in her, I never liked her. She was probably just after your money. You are so much better off. I know it maynot feel like that now, but trust your big sister, you are better off without her.” Ashley had always been an optimist. She was sunshine and everything good and I could not have been blessed with a better sister.

“You are probably right Ash, I really am fine, you don’t have to worry,” I reassured her. Dina had been out of my life for just over a month and I honestly barely thought of her.

Ash made a quick topic change then, her voice high pitched and excitable.

“So,” she dragged out the word. “Tell me about your new job. What are the people like? Do you like your office? Has Dad stopped by? Tell me, tell me, tell me.”

I laughed. Ashley always wanted every little detail from me when we spoke. She was more invested in my life sometimes then I was. I looked around my office as I answered her.

“It’s good. The office is great, the view is spectacular. I’ll send you some photos. The people are great too - everyone seems really friendly and helpful and…” My mind wandered to a tall, slim figure, with deep brown eyes and a wicked smirk. It wasn't the first time this week or even today that August had popped into my head. With his stern expressions and reluctance to smile, he intrigued me. He made me feel off balance. I probably shouldn't like that he made me feel this way but the masochist in me did.

I hadn’t seen much of August lately. We had shared some emails back and forth and I’d briefly seen him when a few of the team met to discuss a different, smaller project but we hadn’t had any time alone since that evening in my office. But he was on my mind - a lot. I wanted to ask him to come by so we could discuss the project further. I wanted to sit with him and run ideas by him and if I was really honest with myself, I just wanted to be in his presence. For no other reason than that I liked theway his voice sounded, the way he smirked at me and the way he made my body and soul feel off kilter.

“... and?” I heard my sister ask, realising I’d zoned out of the answer I was giving her.

“And… and I am enjoying getting to know everyone. And to answer your other question, no, Dad has not stopped by yet. To be honest, I am not sure he is even in the country at the moment. Mum mentioned a cruise or something.”

“Another one? They’re hardly ever on solid ground. Off chasing the sunshine again,” she joked.

“They’re retired! Let them enjoy themselves. And you’re one to speak, sunning yourself over there. Speaking of which, have you had any luck with the house hunt?”

As my sister rambled on about her search for the perfect house, I looked at the time and realised I didn’t have long before my meeting and I hadn’t even had a cup of coffee yet. Standing from my desk, the phone pressed to my ear, I exited my office and walked to the kitchen. The main floor was still quiet, so I was taken by surprise when I ran into someone in the kitchen. Literally knocking into them as I rounded the corner.

“Shit sorry,” I muttered, looking down at the brown coffee mark blossoming on my white shirt. “Ash, let me call you back,” I said, hanging up before she could reply.

I looked up from the stain and into the red rimmed eyes of the one man I couldn’t get out of my mind. August. And he looked so dejected. Feeling my stomach flutter and my palms go clammy, I reached out to touch his arm but then thought better of it and dropped my hand.

“August?” His eyes roved over me, not meeting my own. “Are you okay?” He looked pale and he had purple circles under his eyes. When he swallowed I watched his throat bob, like he was trying to hold back tears.

He took in a deep breath and clasped his hands in front of him.

“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.” His voice sounded small, no sign of the smooth timber I was used to hearing. I didn’t know him well yet, but I knew something was wrong and I hated it. A wave of possessiveness washed over me. It was brief but noticeable. I wanted to fix whatever was causing this. But I had no idea how. It’s hard to make the world right for someone when you don’t even know what’s troubling them. An ache formed behind my sternum and my body tensed with anger. Towards what, I wasn’t sure.

He wouldn’t meet my eyes. “August, look at me, did something happen?” I moved closer to him and he took a step back.

“No, I’m fine, everything is fine. I just have a lot to do today.” His voice caught when he spoke. “And I am really sorry about that.” He gestured to the coffee soaking into my shirt.

“It was my fault, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going,” I assured him. “But are you sure you’re okay?” I asked again, dipping my head to try and catch his gaze.

“Seriously Caleb, I’m fine. Just drop it,” he snapped before he slammed his now empty mug on the kitchen counter and walked out of the room.

I wanted to dig down and find out what it was that was upsetting him. I had this intense need to comfort him and to hold him. But I knew better than to push. There was no chance he was going to open up to his boss of all people.

But that didn’t stop me wishing he would.

Chapter 6

August

Ifelt like utter shit. I had blown off my usual Monday coffee with Branson. In fact, I had completely ignored him since the phone call on Saturday night. The phone call I once wished for so badly but that had now thrown me into a tailspin. My father.My fucking father.The man who had abandoned me when I was eight. The man who sent a cheque once a month but never a letter. Who ensured my schooling was paid for and my university fees were settled but who never, not once in the all the years since he left had even sent me one fucking birthday card.