Page 9 of Wishes for August

I hadn’t expected him to want to see me outside of the office but his offer was so fucking tempting. At the same time though, I worried about why he wanted to spend more time with me. I wasn’t in a place to offer him more than friendship but maybe that was exactly what this was - an offer of a drink between two friends. It didn’t have to mean more. I wouldn’t let it.

“Sure, I’d like that.”

Funny how one decision could start something so epic, so wonderful. Life changing. But how one simple decision could also totally destroy you.

Chapter 7

Caleb

Itried to keep my excitement tamped down when August said he would go for a drink with me. I didn't often step out of my comfort zone and walking down the street to the local pub with him, I was definitely out of it. Not because August was a guy - I had dated men before - but because he was my employee and because I had all these feelings towards him that I didn’t know how to interpret. He unnerved me, he thrilled me and, at the same time, I felt this intense protectiveness towards him.

I could not brush aside the fact that these feelings starting to develop towards him could be a problem. I didn’t actually know what the company policy was on relationships between staff, but as the MD of the company I didn’t think the shareholders would look at this in a positive light. And besides, there was no telling that he felt the same way, hell I didn’t even know if he liked men.

Walking down the street wordlessly, our shoulders brushing from time to time I told myself I would be his friend because it really seemed like he needed one.

Entering the Red Lion pub, we were hit by the smell of beer, fried fish and a blast of hot air from the aircon. The pub was pretty busy with the after work crowd but I spied a small booth towards the back that was empty.

“Shall we go and sit over there?” I pointed to the small area at the far end of the pub. August nodded and started heading over.

Scooting into the booth, he hesitated. “Should we order at the bar first?” he asked as he made to stand again.

“No, you sit and save our table. I will go and order. What would you like?”

He opted for a Fosters and I went over to the bar. There was a small group at the bar ahead of me so I had to wait to place my order. I nervously glanced back at August while I waited. He was sitting with his hands clasped in front of him, staring at a screen showing some football highlights. Once my order was ready and I had two cold beers in hand, I made my way back and slid into the booth opposite him.

A few moments ticked by with neither of us saying a word. Taking a sip of my beer, I watched August as he wiped the condensation from the side of his glass. He was restless in his seat, shuffling around and when he looked at me I could see indecision warring in his features.

“Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to.” I didn’t want to push him, but I needed him to know that I would listen if that is what he wanted. Just being with him at the table was enough for me. I didn’t understand the magnetism between us, but I was glad it existed.

“I think,” he started, “I think I would feel better getting this off my chest.” August took a breath, steeling himself against whatcame next and then he spoke. His words came out rushed but quiet. I leaned a little forward over the sticky table.

“My dad messaged me.” He paused. “Sorry, I see how that may not make any sense to you. We don’t have a good relationship; well, we don’t have a relationship at all. He left when I was eight and he never came back, never made an effort to get to know me. I always thought he left us and started a new life and when he contacted me this past weekend my thoughts were confirmed.”

August’s jaw was trembling ever so slightly, and his shoulders drooped. I didn’t say anything, I could feel he wasn’t done just yet.

“This weekend, he called me and asked if he could see me. After years of silence from him, he suddenly wants to see me. I knew there had to be more of a reason for it, I couldn’t understand why he would contact me out of the blue otherwise. Turns out it wasn’t his idea but his son’s. His other son. My half-brother wants to know me, and it seems dear old dad cares about him enough to make that happen.” He scoffed out that last sentence and I didn’t miss the flash of pain that crossed his face.

“I’m sorry August, that must hurt. Makes sense that you would feel so upset. Have you decided what you are going to do?” It was hard for me to understand how a father could abandon his child like that. My own father wasn’t perfect, but he loved me and he never failed to show me. That August didn’t have that sort of love growing up notched up the ache in my chest.

August furrowed his brow, letting out a sigh before he said, “I don’t know. I haven’t decided what to do. To be honest, his call and texts kind of threw me and I haven’t been able to think clearly about it at all. You are the first person I’ve spoken to about this. My roommate, Branson has been trying to reach me but it seemed easier to shut down, you know? He knows my past and no matter what he always takes my side.”

That protectiveness I felt around him had continued to grow, like it was its own entity ready to take on the world for him.

“You don’t need to rush into anything, you know that right?”

“I know,” he said. “It’s been eighteen years of not seeing him. He didn't even show up at my mum's funeral. The least he can do is give me a chance to wrap my head around this.”

“Did you lose your mum recently?” I asked, quietly.

August scoffed. “She died when I was twenty, but I lost her long before that.” He told me a little more about his childhood then, brief snippets of his past and with each word my heart ached more for him.

I was hit with an overwhelming desire to make him smile.

“Tell me one of your favourite memories,” I said. The sudden change in topic caught him by surprise, an incredulous gaze catching my own.

“What?” he stuttered.

“Tell me a memory that makes you smile, a moment in time that lives freely in your heart.” I wanted to remind him that though things may not be great for him right now, that this moment will pass, it was not permanent, no matter how crushing it felt.