Page 48 of Tangled Emotions
“You know what. How about I stay home, we order pizza, and I’ll bake some cookies.”
“You’ll never find me a dad that way.” He heaved a sigh and reached for Nana’s hand. “You should go out, Mom.
“He’s right, sweetie. You need to get out.” She pulled him with her. “C’mon, baby, let’s go order our pizza and find a movie.”
Matthew stopped walking and looked back at me. “Hey, mom?”
I paced in my chunky sandals that made me feel tall, trying to decide what I wanted. “Yes, son?”
“Whydon’tI have a dad? Did you do that partial inseperation?”
I wasn’t sure if what he asked was as funny as I thought or if the blood rushing to my brain was making me delirious, but I barked out a laugh.
“No, baby, you were created the natural way.”
“Well? Where is he?”
He has the right to know. But I don’t want to do this now.
“Mattie, can we have this talk tomorrow?”
Fuck! If you don’t talk now, it’s gonna be harder in the morning.
His little shoulders slumped. “Yeah. I guess.”
Double fuck! This was not how I wanted to have this conversation.
“C’mon. Let’s go sit at the table.” I went over to the China hutch and took out a few pictures I had tucked there for this exact conversation.
I sat across from him and waited for him to look at me. “Your dad and I were young, and we’d dated for about three years. When we found out about you, a decision needed to be made. He really wanted to go to college, so he did.”
“And you had me?”
I nodded. “He felt we were too young, and I wasn’t going to force him to be in your life.”
Matt twisted his lips. “He knows about me?”
“He does.”
“Didn’t he want me?”
My heart cracked into tiny pieces. “I would say he wasn’t ready for you.”
“But you was.”
“Were.” I couldn’t stop myself from correcting him. “And yes, I was.”
“What’s his name?” he tapped his fingers on the table.
“Greg Tillman.”
“Does he live in Port Stella?”
I nodded, and we sat there in silence for a moment.
Matthew looked over at me, shrugging. “He’s missin’ out.”
“I agree.” A huge smile spread across my face.