Page 58 of Cold Foot King
“He made this choice,” Raynah said softly, pulling her in for a hug. “He asked to go.”
“Don’t touch me,” she whispered brokenly, flinching out of Raynah’s hug. “You don’t understand.”
“I do understand.”
“You don’t.”
“I do! Feels like your heart’s breaking just being away from him? No matter what happened in Cold Foot, he can do no wrong? He’s all you can think about?”
“He’s not the Jackal!”
“He’s exactly the same!” Raynah yelled. “He’s the same! They’re all the fucking same. King figured it out and is cutting you loose. Let him cut you loose! He’s giving you a gift!”
“He’s not the Jackal,” she said again, stubbornly. She jammed her finger at Raynah. “And fuck you for pretending he is. King got us out of that prison, and saved us from that fire. He got us out thinking he wouldn’t be able to escape. The Jackal was hunting us. Your bond has nothing to do with mine!”
“None of this brings him back,” Raynah murmured, hands out.
And she was right. Arguing over the depth of her bond to King wouldn’t bring him back. What was the point of defending him, or embarrassing herself by admitting how much he meant to her?
It wouldn’t change anything.
She hung her head and nodded, then strode through the snow to the tent she’d shared with King. She packed quickly, rolled up their sleeping bags, and set them with the mats in the corner, just like she’d found them last night.
She felt numb. Empty. Like there was this enormous hole in her center that would never be filled again.
He didn’t feel the same as her?
This hurt. It hurt bad. In Cold Foot, she’d learned to turn her feelings off, but over the last few days, she’d flipped the switch and turned them back on. She regretted it. This felt too big, too overwhelming, and too painful.
He’d left. He’d left her.
After touching her body and soul last night, he’d really left.
She pulled her phone out of her bag and opened up his text thread.Come back. Please.She hesitated on sending the message though. She blew out a steadying breath and wiped her damp cheeks. She had to learn how to have pride in herself. She hadn’t done that before, in her last relationship.
Stay the course.That’s what he’d written to her.
Okay. Okay, King. If this is what he wanted, she would stay the fucking course. She wasn’t going to make it pretty, and she also wasn’t going to apologize for the moments that she would struggle with it, because truthfully, she was going to miss him so extremely much.
She deleted the text and shoved her phone back into her bag, shouldered it, and stood.
Timber was waiting right outside. “It’s okay.”
“Nothing feels okay,” Katrina said, feeling the well of her emotions filling up again. “You gonna tell me to buck up now? That it’s just a fake bond? Save it. I have been told how to feel for so long, and this time, I’m just going to feel it. I don’t have to whine and bitch about it, but no one is going to tell me what I feel isn’t real.”
“It’s real,” Timber said softly, her eyes rimming with tears. “I’m so, so, so sorry.”
That was an unexpected response after the things Raynah had said.
Timber pulled her into a tight embrace and just…stood there. Slowly, Katrina lifted her arms and hugged her back. They stood like that for a long time. Felt good. Felt like she wasn’t alone with this enormous weight on her heart.
Timber eased her back to arm’s length. “Whatever you need, ask.” She gave her a sympathetic smile, and then made her way toward the yellow people-mover, wiping her eyes as she went.
The others followed Timber, and Katrina watched them go. She felt lonely.
Movement behind her made her turn around. Cash was tromping out of the woods, boots untied, jeans unzipped, pulling on his sweater. She felt too defeated to remain angry about his spying on her earlier. Besides, he looked angry too.
He ducked into his tent, and came out a few seconds later with his pack and his jacket pulled on. He barely glanced at her as he stormed by, but he hesitated right beside her and handed her something. It was a pine cone.