Page 12 of PS: I Hate You
My body locks up, every joint frozen with offense.
“This is not the time to micromanage me.” I glare across the kitchen table into a set of unyielding brown eyes.
After our graveyard spat, I can’t even manage sarcasm. There’s too much fury coursing through me.
Eight states with Dominic Perry at my side.
Damn you, Josh Sanderson. Why must you torture me even from the afterlife?
Dom drops his gaze to the container he’s carefully applying a lid to before writing a state name across the red top. We bought thehigh-quality Rubbermaid on our way here. Only the best reusable storage containers for my brother.
Dom, who has shucked off the jacket of his funeral suit and rolled up the sleeves on his dress shirt, is currently handling the part of Josh that’s going to Kansas.
Kansas. What the hell are we going to do in Kansas?
I guess we’ll find out when we get to the cryptic coordinates on the envelope. It’s not enough for us to just step over the state line and toss my brother into the wind. He left specific instructions.
This is so Josh: making a game out of his final wishes. And if it were any other situation, and my partner any other person, I would be intrigued by the process of following clues and discovering the answers to his puzzles. Josh used to create scavenger hunts for me on random holidays. Valentine’s Day…St. Patrick’s Day…National Hot Dog Day…
“To get you out of the house,”he said. Admittedly, I was a homebody growing up, always worried too much pollen would set off an asthma attack. Instead of taking the risk, I would retreat to my bedroom, where Florence could easily forget I existed. There I’d curl up in my window seat with a book, reading about someone else’s adventures. Josh wanted me to have a few of my own, even if it only meant I ended up at the local Wawa where he’d be waiting with a bag of sour-cream-and-onion chips and a DrPepper.
I can imagine my brother sketching this all out, seeing it as another series of quests for his introverted sister.
Did Josh not trust me to go on my own? Did he think I needed Dom spurring me on to finish this final task?
I’m notthattravel-averse. Josh took me on a few trips over the years. And I have a list of places I’d like to visit. Someday. In the future, when the timing makes sense.
I have the luxury of time, unlike my brother. Guilt rubs against my skin like sandpaper on a sunburn.
Josh already visited a lot of the huge tourist states like New Yorkand California and Louisiana. But he focused most of his traveling internationally, which is why there is still a collection of states he never touched. There are a few interesting ones on the list, but others I’m not looking forward to.
Oh, wait. That’s right. I’m not looking forward toanyof them.
Because at every single destination, I’ll have Mr.Responsible Asshole by my side.
“Maddie—”
“Why do you need to say my name?” I cut Dom off. “I’m the only person in this room. Who else would you be talking to? Just say what you want to say.” I’m being petty and argumentative, I know. But his face brings it out of me.
After achieving the spectacular feat of making this day even worse, Dom informed me that Josh’s ashes were at his parents’ house. Apparently, my brother arranged to have himself shipped to the Perry family rather than my mother.
Good choice.
Cecilia probably would have made Josh into diamonds or something weird she could wear in photos.
Dom said my mother never asked for them, so he didn’t feel the need to give Josh to her.
Plus, the will specifiedIwas to spread the remains.
Me…and Dom.
Hell, I hate even thinking about us together, much less physically sitting in the same space as him.
But we need to converse to figure out next steps.
Travel plans. Traveling together.
I want this over with. I was ready to fly back to Seattle and say goodbye to the East Coast and my past forever. Too many people on this side of the country have left me. Now I’m the one determined to do the leaving.