Page 67 of PS: I Hate You

Dom smirks and drifts through the water toward the side of the pool where I sit.

“Noted.” His eyes drag over my reclined body in a heavy sweep that makes me shiver. “Can’t sleep?”

I shrug. “Yeah. I was terrified when someone said they spotted a grotesque monster in the pool.”

He snorts, and I give myself a point for earning his laughter. Dom does that more and more each trip. I guess we both needed time to adjust to each other. To learn what this dynamic would be.

Dom as the protector, and me his reluctant charge?

Yeah, not going to work.

Me mooning over him like a besotted teenager and stealing a drunken kiss?

Once again, a major mistake.

Enemies?

Impossible with Josh’s words forcing us together. With his requirement for us to be vulnerable around each other.

Ever since my blowup at Dom earlier, I’ve been thinking about all the times that he’s responsible—almost every minute of every day—and the few times I can recall him letting loose.

The latter mainly occurred when Josh pushed and needled him.

Who’s going to do that now that my brother is gone?

Maybe including Dom in this task wasn’t Josh assigning a babysitter to me. He must have known I’d do the trips, no matter how hard or ridiculous each one was. Josh would’ve known I didn’t need Dom to force me.

That I didn’t need Dom at all.

But maybe…

Maybe he thought that Dom might needme.

Does Josh want me to be Dom’s friend?

I could see my brother worrying about that. See him growing concerned that his gruffly responsible friend who spends all his time working and taking care of his brothers might forget to socialize. Especially after finding out the man separated from his wife of seven years. From what I saw, Rosaline was the only one other than my brother who could get Dom to relax. Often Josh and she would team up to trick the taciturn man into having a good time.

My brother approached the end thinking his best friend would live on without that get-out-of-your-own-head force in his life. Josh knew Dom would need someone.

But it couldn’t be just anyone. Josh had to pick someone Dom couldn’t say no to.

His kid sister.

The sneaky machinations are so clear now, I’m tempted to laugh.

Josh left me more than the job of spreading his ashes.

He left me his best friend.

You better not think Dom is taking that title from Jeremy and Tula,I silently scold my brother.

Maybe I can handle some version of friendship. But “best” is taken.

I stand from my seat, traverse the few feet of concrete separating us, and settle cross-legged on the ground directly in front of Dom. He watches my approach with narrowed eyes, like an animal in a trap.

But he doesn’t back up.

“How’s work going?” I ask. A question I would pose to Jeremy or Tula. My friends. The people I check on because I care about them.