Page 90 of PS: I Hate You

Is this what friends do? They hold hands?

Even if they do, I don’t think the heat of a friend’s palm is supposed to send achy flutters shooting through my body.

Still, I manage to breathe normally. No stutters or gasps to have Dom questioning the move.

He also tried to hold my hand on the glow worm trip. Maybe Dom just likes to grasp things.

“Let’s get back to why Adam having a crush was a good thing,” I press, resolving to ponder friendship hand-holding later. “Inyouropinion.”

Dom sighs but relents. “He did anything you told him. If Mom orDad or I asked him to take out the garbage, it would’ve been fifteen minutes of complaining followed by a half-assed job.” His eyes sweep over me before returning to the road. “You’d come over and say, ‘Adam, stop being lazy and go take out the trash.’ Hesprinted. Chore done in record time. No complaints. Back again asking for more.”

Now that I think about it, I do recall Emilia and Dom asking me to convey a lot of simple requests to Adam. At the time, I was happy to help in any way, even if that meant being a courier pigeon. But apparently, I was also acting as a buffer against teenage rebellion. The thought has me fighting another snort of laughter.

“Did you know Carter is dyslexic?” The random piece of information throws me out of my humorous mood.

“I-I…No. I didn’t.” Another detail I might have known if I hadn’t disappeared from their lives.

The half of Dom’s smile I can see looks pained. “None of us did for a while. What we did know was that he was smart but doing bad in school. Mom would let out these hopeless sighs whenever report cards came out. Dad would get so frustrated. I mean, the man was all about hands-free, figure it out, but then got aggravated when youdidn’tfigure it out. Carter…he couldn’t do anything. He didn’t know what was wrong. He would just shut down.” Dom rubs a thumb over my knuckles. “I think that’s why Adam started acting out. To take the pressure off Carter. Yeah, maybe his grades were bad, but he didn’t fill all the locker-room drains with bubble bath.”

“What happened?” I feel like complete shit that I don’t know any of this. All I know is that Carter was in that graduation photo alongside Adam, so something must have changed.

“The entire locker room exploded with suds after the homecoming football game.”

“No. Not that. Though that sounds amazing, and I want to circle back later.”Adam, you evil genius.“What happened with Carter?”

Dom squeezes my hand. A comforting pressure.

“You remember those graphic novels you were always checking out from the library for him?”

I nod. Sometimes Carter would sit under my umbrella with me and flip through them, lacking the daylong social stamina of Adam.

“He kept getting them. Even after you…” Dom clears his throat. “After you were gone. He read them all the time. Started sneaking them into class, reading them there, too. One of his teachers saw how he always had them and asked why he liked them so much. He told her that with the pictures he could read the story even when the words didn’t make sense.” Dom’s voice is thick now. “She figured it out. Fourteen years old and no one else had. Some public school education. He could barely read and was going to get pushed straight through to high school. Guess it goes to show how clever he was, though, huh? That he still got by. Was able to hide how much he was struggling.”

My heart aches for the quiet teenager I used to know. “But he’s doing better now?”

“Once Mom and Dad knew, they talked to the school and set him up with a specialist tutor. He wants to be a writer now. Did you know that? Wants to tell stories. He’s studying creative writing with a minor in design.” His thumb strokes the length of mine. “One more way you helped that summer. The twins were obsessed with you. Mom adored you. Dad kept trying to give you money just so you’d stick around. And I…”

Silence descends in the car, and I try not to let resentment into my voice when I finally fill it.

“You were grateful for my help,” I finish for him.

His grip tightens. “Not exactly.”

“Then what, exactly?”

Dom’s jaw firms, then relaxes. “When you helped me, I could breathe. When I could breathe, I could see you.”

My stomach bottoms out as if we just tilted over the top of a roller coaster. But we’re actually slowing down, turning into theparking lot for the B&B. The wild ride is all with this man at my side who I’m not sure I’ve ever truly known.

“And do you see me now?” I whisper, the sound more vulnerable than I ever thought I’d let myself be with Dominic Perry again.

He doesn’t hesitate on his answer.

“You’re all I see.”

Chapter

Twenty-Six