Page 65 of A Wish for Us

When I ran out of skin, I lifted my head and met Bonnie’s eyes. “I’ve…I’ve never done this before,” she confessed.

I swallowed. “Never?”

She shook her head. “I’ve never…” She raised her chin. “I’ve never done anything…but kiss before.”

I dragged in a breath and stared down at her. Her eyes were watching me, waiting for my reaction. “Bonnie, I’m not sure I’m the one—”

“You are.” Her shaking hand landed on my face. “You’re the only one whocouldhave this.” Her eyes watered, and the tears tracked down her cheeks. “I tried to fight it, but you never left. And my heart didn’t let me turn away.” Her fingers traveled over my chest and lingered over my heart. Her eyes closed briefly, like she was counting its beat. When she opened her eyes, she sat up, and I got to my knees. She pulled my jumper over her head and let it fall to the floor. Then her hands were on my shirt. She lifted the hem and started pulling it over my head.

I pulled it off the rest of the way, throwing it to join the jumper on the floor. Bonnie swallowed as she lifted her hands and ran them over every one of my tattoos. Over the swirls of color that swarmed over my chest. And over the two swords, lion, and crown that made up the British Army crest. She tipped her head back and her eyes met mine.

I pulled out the band that kept her hair from her face. Her long hair fell down her back. I ran my hands through the strands, and as I did, she leaned in, kissing my skin. My jaw clenched at the feel of her tentative mouth on my stomach. She kissed me again, this time over the tribute I’d had tattooed to my dad. Seeing Bonnie kiss the crest that had meant so much to the man who was my best friend did something to me.

My hands threaded into Bonnie’s hair. I pulled her to my lips. And I kissed her. I was pretty sure I could kiss her all day and never grow sick of it.

“Cromwell,” she whispered against my lips. I broke away, only enough for her to speak. “I need you,” she said, shredding my heart. “I need you so much.”

“What do you want?” I asked, running my lips along her cheek. I was unable to move away from her. I needed to touch her.

“Make love to me,” she said, and my eyes closed. “Show me how it could be.”

My heart thudded in double time at her request. I laid her back down and kissed her again. But as I kissed her, I moved my hands down to her trousers and untied the waist. Breaking from her mouth, I pulled them down her legs. I sat back and looked at her. Her body was mostly shaded in darkness. But Icould see enough of her to make out her silhouette. She was perfect. Every part of her was perfect. And I realized just how much I wanted this. Wanted her. I ran my hands up her legs, slowly. With every inch, Bonnie gasped, her back starting to arch.

The sound hit my ears, and deep red squares fluttered in my eyes. My hand touched her skin below her top. It was so warm, so pale. I never wanted to take my hand away. I shifted the material up and over a camisole underneath. Bonnie’s breathing was like a song in my ear, strings commanding me to move. To touch her, feel her, taste her. I slipped the top over her head, watching as her skin turned pink and her eyes grew leaden. I wondered what she was thinking. But when her eyes met mine, I didn’t need words. Her pretty face told me how much she wanted this too. My hand next moved to her camisole. I pushed the material up, exposing her stomach. I paused, just looking at my tattooed tanned skin against her white.

I’d never seen anything so perfect.

“Please leave it on.” Bonnie’s voice made me look up. She pulled her camisole back down. Lowering my head, I kissed her lips just to chase away the momentary flash of worry in her eyes. I didn’t know what that worry was for. But I didn’t need to have her naked. She was beautiful enough, just like this.

I kissed her, licking along her lips. Her breath was warm on my face, and I could smell the vanilla of her shampoo. My fingers traced along the softness of her arm. Her body moved against mine, showing me how much she liked it. My chest swelled. I’d never had this in bed before. Never felt this much for a girl before.

All those before had meant nothing to me. Their faces were all a mass blur. Even my first time was a drunken, meaningless mess. But this felt different. Being with Bonnie, like this, felt different. Bigger somehow. Bonnie’s gaze locked with mine and we just stared into one another’s eyes for a few seconds. It felt like a lifetime before her hand moved down to the fly of my jeans. Her face was filled with nervousness, her brown eyes wide. I laid my hand on top of hers and took the lead. Leaning down, I kissed along her cheek, her forehead, and finally her lips as my jeans came off.

I pulled the covers over us. I thought it might make her feel better.Bonnie smiled at the action, and I crawled on top of her, covering her body with my own. I met her eyes and ran my hand down her cheek. “You’re beautiful.” Because she was. She so bloody was.

A tear slipped from the side of her eye. “So are you,” she said and smiled. I pressed my lips to hers. And as I did, I ran my hands down her waist, over her stomach, and down to her legs. “Touch me,” she whispered, and I shut my eyes, taking a second to breathe.

Violet-blue lines flashed across my mind every time she spoke, bringing me a kind of peace I couldn’t describe. Silver was the backdrop, the color never fading, still bright from tonight at the club.

Bonnie’s back arched as my hand moved. She whimpered and fought for breath. I watched her face in the blue light, trying to soak in every noise and every move. I kissed her shoulder, the same one I’d kissed in the music room. Sweetness burst on my tongue when her peach and vanilla scent drifted into my nose.

“Cromwell,” she whispered. I reached into my drawer and pulled out a condom. When I was ready, Bonnie, now wearing nothing but her cami, held out her arms.

I settled above her, pushing her hair from her face. “You sure?”

“More than sure.”

I never took my eyes off her face. Bonnie’s hands were on my back, holding on tight. I was as gentle as I could be. I didn’t want to hurt her. My breathing echoed in my ears. Bonnie’s eyes were locked on mine. She never looked away. As I built up speed, when her breaths became short and shallow, she never once looked away.

And the way she looked at me…

Her hands ran through my hair, slowly and softly. I lowered down and kissed her. Kissed her lips, and kissed her cheeks. I kissed every part of her face. When I lifted my head, tears were falling down her cheeks. I worried that she was in pain, but when I stilled, Bonnie put her hand on my cheek. “Please don’t stop,” she whispered, her throat tight.

So I kept going, my teeth gritted together at how good it felt. At how good she felt beneath me. But not because I was inside her. Because itwasher, looking up at me like this. Brown eyes watering and lips shaking.

Wanting me.

Needing me.