Page 106 of Wicked Knight

She smiles on hearing that. "That's beautiful.”

“Of course, that means someone else would've had to have killed Tommy. And I think I've been having nightmares about that person.”

“Really?” Instantly she looks concerned.

“Yes. I’ve had them since the incident. It's the same nightmare all the time."

"The same one?" she checks.

"Yes. But they've gotten worse. I think it’s because I was seeing Dmitri in secret."

She looks surprised and happy to hear that, but then she notes my use of the past tense. "Was?" she checks again.

"Yeah. Was. His father found out." I quickly tell her what happened, then I give her the run down about Ryan Konstantin, but I don't tell her the reasons why I have to marry him. "My dreams have changed. Lately I've been seeing a man in my dream. At first I thought I made him up, but then earlier I dreamt about him again and I saw more."

"What more did you see?"

I quickly tell her about the tattoo, the dream, and how I felt after. "Those feel like memories to me, Eilish."

She nods. "Die trying to live," she says. I'm not sure what she's talking about. "Die trying to live. That's what the words on the tattoo mean. I took Latin last year. Mackenzie, it's possible that this person you saw was there that day. Those kind of details are very distinct. Somebody more important than me needs to know about this. But I think it would be helpful if you had some deeper therapy sessions to see if you can pull more memories from your mind."

"I think I'm at the stage where I'm willing to do whatever I need to," I tell her.

"Then I have details of a guy who's really good with working with people with amnesia. Do you want me to contact him first and then you can maybe set up an appointment?"

I nod with determination. In my heart I wonder if somehow remembering could help my situation. I'm not sure how it would help my father, but maybe, just maybe it may help Maxim Valneko to ease off me if I remembered his son's killer.

“Thanks, Eilish. And thanks for listening to me."

"Of course. Do you want to go get some coffee? You look like you could do with some more company for a little while longer."

I give her a gentle smile. "Yes, I think you're right. I’ve had the month from hell."

"Come on. Let's go talk. You can tell me whatever you want to tell me."

"Thank you."

We get up and head to the coffee shop.

I spend a few hours with her. Talking helps, but there's only so much talking can do. All it does is it takes the edge off like a drug.

On Saturday night I head out to Rockford Manor with Savannah and Sawyer for the Norse New Year’s party.

A party is the last place I want to be but I was all but summoned by Ryan.

He wanted to meet me here and called it our first date.

I haven't seen Dmitri since the other day, but I understand that I have to wait.

He should be here tonight. It will be weird seeing him and pretending we’re strangers again.

What worries me now is being alone with Ryan. There was the encounter in the kitchen at my parents' cottage and I know he was watching me after I saw Dmitri.

Nothing has come of that since, so I hoped it meant he didn’t think I was with Dmitri.

I walk into the grand hall with the girls. It's beautiful in here. The Thetas and Sigmas always choose some marvelous venues for their parties.

I was hoping to hang out with Savannah and Sawyer for a little while, but I spot Ryan standing in the corner of the room talking with his friends. He sees me too and waves me over.