Page 95 of Wicked Knight

That conversation should have had a happier ending.

He told me he loved me. Dmitri actually said the words. Twice.

I'll never forget that, nor the way he looked as he said them.

I wished we could have been saying them for another reason than breaking up.

How fucked up is that?

When he said those magical words to me, it was like I was still dreaming and breaking up with him was a nightmare.

Everything is so unfair. No wonder I feel like I'm clinging to dear life from the edge of a cliff.

What's worse is, I don't know how I'm supposed to go through with this marriage.

Marriage to a guy who makes my skin crawl and my soul feel like it wants to jump into an abyss.

“Mackenzie,” Dad is saying my name like he said it before and asked me a question. From the quizzical look of expectancy in his eyes, I'm pretty sure that's what happened.

I straighten and glance at the other pairs of eyes watching me then look back to my father. “I'm sorry, Dad, what did you say?”

Dad gives me a tight-lipped smile. “Susan wanted to know when your next show would be.”

I look back at Susan and take in her peculiar features. She has the same dark hair and crow face as our son. “It's in a few weeks." I try to sound more enthusiastic than I feel for the sake of being polite.

“Wonderful, we’ll have to go see you.” Susan clasps her hands and gives me a radiant smile. “We love the ballet in our family. It's something we regularly attend. I hear you'll be joining New York City."

"Yes." I smile back, not needing to muster fake excitement. I will always be excited about the New York City Ballet. "I'm very excited. It's my dream."

“We're excited for you,” comes Ryan's gravelly voice. The handful of words is one of the few things he’s spoken all evening.

“Thank you.” I give him a curt smile and glance at my father when I notice him smiling.

I know he’s probably thinking this conversation looks like a good sign because at least they'll encourage me to dance and they'll be respectful of my career, but to me, it's nothing to hold on to.

“We like the opera, too," Susan adds with a brighter smile.

"And football," Vlad says.

At the mention of football, of course, my mind goes running back to Dimitri.

Vlad talks about his favorite football teams, which includes, surprise, surprise, the Patriots—another Dimitri thing for me to think about.

I'm grateful when the conversation shifts back to Dad's TV show, then I zone out again.

My mind keeps bouncing between Dimitri and his father, and the fragments of my nightmares.

It's all torture to me.

Part of me wonders if it wouldn't have been better if I entered that contract.

I'd be with Levi now with no career, but that may have been better than falling for Dimitri and losing him the way I did.

I had to make a choice, one that led here, to this dinner table with these people.

But I know there'd come a time when Dmitri would have to choose, too.

While we were together, I’d worry that I’d say something about my father, and it would piss him up.