Page 24 of More than a Memory
“From all accounts, you’re one of the good ones,” Annie replied with a watery smile.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
Walking over to the two of them, he put his arm casually around Darcy’s shoulders, saying, “I think you two would probably like some privacy, so I’ll take off unless you think you need me to stay.”
“We’ll be fine, Sam, but I appreciate the offer.”
“Walk me to the door?” he asked softly.
“Of course,” Darcy agreed.
“I’m sorry our evening ended on this note,” Darcy apologized at the door.
“You mean this note?” he said, leaning in for a kiss, his lips lingering, both reluctant for it to end.
“Sam, thank you for a magical evening. I will look forward to our ride on Sunday,” Darcy said.
“Me too! Take good care of your little sis. Heartbreaks need tending to, just like any wound.”
“How did you get to be so wise?” she asked, cocking her head to the side, considering him as she would a difficult puzzle.
“Life tends to dish out the lessons whether we want them or not. The hard part is figuring out the best way to make the most from it, and deciding how to move on, while still hanging on to the good parts.”
“Yes, that hanging on while letting go thing is a tricky business,” Darcy replied wistfully.
“I’m already missing you, Darcy.”
“Damn you, Sam, why do you have to be so perfect?”
Standing up on the tips of her toes, she gave him one last kiss before closing the door and locking it behind him.
Returning to Annie, Darcy was relieved to see that she was much calmer and even more happy to see that her sister was starting to find her justifiable anger.
“I want a man like Sam, and I won’t settle for anything less!” Annie exclaimed with conviction. “I don’t deserve to be treated this way, even though deep inside I don’t always believe that. I’ve just decided that I’m going to fake it ‘til I make it!”
“That’s the spirit,” Darcy said.” I know the way we were raised didn’t always give us the best skills for self-respect and self-love, however, as a wise man very recently said to me, it’s how we learn from it, what we make of it, hang on to the good and let go of the bad. There’s always a gift in there somewhere; sometimes we just have to wait for it.”
“Darcy, I hope you don’t get mad at me for saying this, but I hope you can take that advice yourself when it comes to Sam. He’s special. He’s one of the good guys, and they are few and far between. Don’t let your fear and grief get in the way of something that could be the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“Let’s not change the subject here. We were talking about you!” Darcy said, brushing off Annie’s concern.
“You’re doing it again,” Annie said.
“Doing what?”
“Avoiding your feelings.”
“I just want to be in the moment and enjoy this, whatever this is, while it’s here. No strings, no complications, just two adults enjoying each other and having fun together,” Darcy said somewhat defensively.
“You keep telling me that, but who are you really trying to convince?” Annie said gently.
“I’m not trying to convince anyone. I’m not interested in anything long term or serious. I was lucky to have had that once.”
“Darcy you are still young. Many people have lost their beloveds and gone on to love deeply again. I don’t understand your attitude that you only get one shot at happily ever after. It’s just not true or fair to yourself!” Annie said.
“Most people didn’t watch their partners get shot and bleed out in their arms. It should have been me! Not Ryan. He was so kind and good. So much more worthy of life than I,” Darcy said.
“Darcy can’t you hear yourself? You’re the most compassionate, selfless person I know,” Annie said in frustration. “How can you believe that it should have been you? It was a tragedy that should never have happened, but it did! You got to live, Ryan didn’t. Don’t waste the gift. It’s not what Ryan would have wanted, nor is it what you would have wanted for him had it gone the other way!”