Page 59 of A Tinsel Tale

Several hours later Gwen leaves and we call it a day.

I close my book and place it on the nightstand then snuggle under the covers. Before I turn off my lamp, I text Jamie.

Me: Merry Christmas. Thanks for knowing the song in my heart.

He may not get the message until tomorrow. He might be asleep or on a call. It doesn’t matter. I fall into a sound sleep thinking about chocolate brown eyes and a beautiful heart.

32

EVIE

SIX WEEKS LATER

Ikick off my shoes in the entryway of my condo and throw my bag on the side table. I’m exhausted, and my feet are killing me. I picked up Chinese on my way home and I carry it to the kitchen and grab some chopsticks from the drawer. I don’t even bother to put it on a plate, I just eat it out of the cardboard container.

I’m not sure if it’s work overwhelm, the air quality, or my homesickness. Probably the new schedule. I thought I’d have adjusted by now… got back into the groove, but it isn’t happening. At all. I like myself a whole lot better when there’s room to breathe, and I’m getting at least six hours of sleep a night. Neither is happening right now. My impatience has returned. When I can sleep, I wake up with a sore jaw and headache from grinding my teeth all night. I can’t believe this used to feel normal. Sane even.

Jamie had the weekend off last week, so he drove down for an overnight. Wasn’t nearly enough. I cried like a baby when we said goodbye. That part of me hasn’t left yet. The emotional part. That’s still all over the place. And yes, I’m lonely. I miss my dad, I miss my horses, I miss Dee, and most of all I miss Jamie. I am getting zero satisfaction from my job. Since my return I feel like I’m getting all the questionable characters. Some don’t even pretend to be good people. Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing with my life? For what purpose?

I plop down with my chicken lo mein and pull out the scrapbook Mom made for me. I flip to a page I keep returning to again and again. It’s a list I made in tenth grade of my goals. I don’t know where Mom found it. Smiling I read them again. 1. Marry Jamie Barrington. 2. Have his babies. Lots of them. 3. Get my law degree and pass the bar. 4. Open a practice and serve my community. 5. Live happily ever after. There’s a photo of me and Jamie standing in the backyard holding hands. Beside my list, Mom had writtenExcellent Plan!!!And a smiley face.

A wave of nausea overtakes me, and I make a mad dash for the bathroom. Just in time. As I sit on the bathroom floor leaning over the toilet, I know something has to give. Too much stress. I’m going to have to have a talk with the partners tomorrow and tell them I need to cut back on my case load. I’m still putting them off on the partnership offer, but they’ve increased the pressure. Especially Vance.Ugh.It doesn’t feel right.

The following day I wake up nauseous again, and get sick at work. Thank God I’m too busy to entertain the niggling thought at the back of my brain. That works… until lunch time. I decide to go home but, on my way, I pop into the pharmacy. A half-hour later I’m staring in disbelief at the pink positive sign on the stick I just peed on. Talk about dejà-vu! I’m stunned. I’m still on the pill. Okay, I did miss a couple days over the holidays, but really? I throw the wand away and put my hands over my belly and breathe.

Well, hello little being. Are you really there? I pause and wait. Yes, you’re here. I know you are. I can sense you. A little boy this time.

A picture of Jamie holding Henry flashes across my mind. A feeling of utter euphoria washes over me. I’m having Jamie’s baby. Number two on my list. I’m going to be someone’s mama. What did Mom say in her letter? Look for the tiny miracles that happen every day.Well, Mom, this one is a whopper.I’ll call off work tomorrow and drive home! I pick up my phone a dozen times to call Jamie but talk myself out of it. I can wait until this evening.

Ireturn to work still dazed but determined. I’m dressed in my power suit, a navy blazer and pencil skirt with killer heels, hair in a chignon. When I arrive there is the usual after lunch office hustle bustle, which I once loved. It made me feel powerful and successful. On top of my game. Now it all seems stupid. I buzz the four partners and call for a meeting. I know they probably think I’ve made my decision about the partnership.

I face the four men of Wagner, Becker, Shultz and Dunn. Men I respect for the most part. I take a deep breath and give my notice. There is an audible collective gasp from all four of them.

“But…” Vance sputters, “you can’t do that.”

“I can, and I am doing that, Vance.”

“What can we do to sweeten our offer?” Dan Becker asks.

“I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the years. I’m just ready to move in a different direction. I’m moving back to Michigan and taking the bar there. If all goes well, I’m going to open a small law practice. That was my original dream a lifetime ago.”

Vance is as pale as a ghost. Two of the other three look like they swallowed something unpleasant. Only Dan offers me a sincere smile and congratulates me. “I wish you the best, Evie.”

“You’re making a huge mistake,” Vance says, sounding desperate.

I shake my head. “Not this time.” I stand up and they follow suit. “Of course, I’ll stay long enough to brief everyone on my current cases and tie up loose ends. I’m thinking that will take about a month, max.”

Somehow, knowing it’s finite, the day flies by and I feel as light as a feather as I make my way home. I’m practically floating. I immediately change into my sweats and a t-shirt, then wrap my Christmas prom blanket around my shoulders and make a nest on my couch. No sooner have I settled in than the nausea hits. I spend about an hour sitting on the bathroom floor until I feel well enough to shuffle to the kitchen and nuke some canned chicken noodle soup.

I’m forcing the soup down when my apartment doorbell buzzes. Frowning, my first thought is Vance. No way can I deal with him now. I look through the peep hole and my belly lurches.Jamie. What is he doing here?I throw open the door and I’m swept up in his arms.

“Evie, I can’t take this anymore. I miss you too damn much. I’ve been making calls and calling in favors. If you’ll have me, I want to move here with you. I don’t care what your hours are, as long as we fall asleep and wake up in each other’s arms we can make the rest work. I may have a job already lined up.” I grab his arm and tug him forcefully into my condo, shutting the door firmly behind us.

“Babe, are you alright? You look a little green.” Jamie says, as I cover my mouth and run to the bathroom.

He follows and squats down beside me, bunching my hair in his hand, holding it back from my face as I dry-heave into the commode. Thank God there is nothing left to come up.

Jamie stands up and wets a washcloth in cold water, then dabs my forehead. It feels so comforting. “Jamie?” I croak.