Page 15 of Fall From Grace

We didn’t really get to go on adventures anymore. My favorite time of the year used to be the warm months so that he could take me hiking in the mountains where we’d let our imaginations run wild. Now we didn’t do that either.

Noah played basketball and football while I cheered, which took up some of our time. When we weren’t at ball games or practice, we were in the treehouse sitting next to each other reading silently, or in the house where we fought over our favorite characters in TV shows, and played video games.

Sara and Tiffany always wanted to spend the night, but I wasn’t ready to share Noah with them. They knew he came over sometimes, they just didn’t know that our lives were constant with one another’s. That’s something I knew I’d never grow out of.

He didn’t come over after practice today, though, and I wondered if maybe it had something to do with my outburst at break. Tiffany said everyone had been talking about it, but when she said, “You shouldn’t put Noah on a pedestal, he’s still a guy and his thoughts are most likely no different than the others,” I chose not to say a word.

Truthfully, I knew more than anyone how much Noah was like the others. He thought like the others or he wouldn’t have shown me that tape… And little things he’d do, like share his drink with me or touch my hair like it held a hypnotic hold on him sometimes, or just the way I’d catch him staring at my legs and chest that was growing.

I wished I could keep pretending I knew nothing. Even lately, I wished Noah wasn’t my favorite person in the entire world. I didn’t feel like myself sometimes. Someone new was taking the place of the old me. I was afraid of her. Afraid of what I’d continue to feel around Noah.

I couldn’t stop tossing and turning that night. If Noah would have come over today, I knew I would have been fine but he didn’t, so I was left thinking of him.

He was filling every part of me. Soon, I wondered if I would be able to think a thought without it being of him.

But, for me, it was always about Noah, whether I was six or eleven.

With the light off, I got out of bed and ventured to the window, and there my heart raced with both fear and excitement. The glow of a lantern drifted through the window of the treehouse. Why didn’t he come inside to sleep if his parents were keeping him up? He was avoiding me after today. With the press of my toes burying themselves into the carpet, I just knew with everything in me, he had to be.

Like I knew Noah, he knew me. He should know that I didn’t like to be pushed away, especially when it came to him.

My parents weren’t asleep yet, I heard their hushed voices talking with the TV on. I was careful as I tiptoed out the door and into the damp September night. I ran once I was outside, only taking a few seconds to make my way up the rope. He turned off the lantern once my knees were up. “Noah,” I groaned.

“Afraid of the dark, Priss?” His voice was raspy, it had a gruffer tone to it lately. My stomach swam with butterflies.

“Turn it back on,” I sighed, afraid to move it was so dark. I heard him shuffle around before he flicked a lighter and relit the lantern. “Why didn’t you come inside and sleep?” The lantern played shadows on his face. He didn’t answer. “Why didn’t you come over today?”

“Do I have to come over every day?” he asked, lying down and placing his hands behind his head. I crawled over and did the same next to him.

“Yes, that’s what we do, Noah,” I whispered. The only days we weren’t together was when my family went on vacations every year.

“We’re getting older, Grace,” he sighed, staring at the ceiling as I made shadows with my hands. He tilted his head and I did the same. His expression made it seem like he was hurting somewhere. “Why did you lie today?”

When I went to raise up, his hand shot out to stop me. My skin heated. “Because you promised,” I barely managed to mumble.

He leaned closer. “I remember, but Grace… I’ll grow up. One day, you’re gonna look at me and you’re gonna see what I’ve always seen.”

“Noah…”

He scooted his head closer, closer… I was too surprised and nervous to do anything but watch as he placed his lips against my forehead. Then he slowly raised up, “You should go.”

I raised quickly. “What was that for?” I placed my hand on my forehead.

“Because you’re you, and I’m me.”

I smiled because somehow, it made it perfectly okay.

As I slipped down the rope, I said, “Come stay in the house.”

“I’m heading home,” he replied, coming down the rope next.

“No one’s at your house tonight?” I asked.

He nodded. “Nope.”

“Then why…”

He grinned. “And Priss, don’t get too close to Dustin. He wants to do bad things to girls already.”