Page 18 of Fall From Grace
“What animal do I have this year?” I asked as I took the bag from his hand. He watched me open the bag with as much eagerness as I felt. It was a little bigger than the other ones. I was at a loss for words when I saw it. It was a wolf’s face with an eagle sitting atop its head with its wings stretched out as it was about to take off. “Noah… it’s beautiful. The best yet,” I turned my head and told him.
“What color stain are you going to get your mom to get for this one?” he asked. In order to preserve the wood, we started staining them last year after my first bear started to mildew.
“Don’t know.” I placed it next to the others before sitting back down on the bed again. I glanced over them all with a smile. “I want bigger versions of these in my yard when I get my own place.”
He leaned over a bit. “I can do that, I’m sure.”
“I know, I can’t wait to see what you’ll be able to do when you get older.”
He reddened. “You have a lot of faith in me.”
“Of course! You’re so different than other guys our age,” I said then remembered a couple months ago and stiffened.
He remembered too. “I’m not all that different than them, really.” I couldn’t read his expression. His hand found mine on the bed and covered it. My eyes felt a little heavy, my chest a little strange, and my stomach a web of warmth.
He leaned in. “I promised I’d never want to do those things to you, Grace… Can I un-promise now?”
I licked my lips while staring at his. He saw and closed in. He met my eyes once more before I shut mine. And Noah kissed me. His lips were a lot warmer, a lot softer than I thought they’d be. It didn’t make me sick and I didn’t think of the video, instead, I felt myself smiling when he pulled away, and when I opened my eyes…I just shared my first kiss with Noah.
Noah swallowed then he came for my lips again. This time, his fingers wrapped around the back of my head and his lips were a little harder, clumsier, and his hands were shaky.
“Come eat some cake,” Mom said right next to my door. We pushed apart right before she opened the door. Her eyes narrowed, missing nothing. “You two are looking a little weird,” she muttered before turning around. “Come on downstairs, y’all are getting the age where you shouldn’t be left alone.”
We glanced at each other quickly before jumping off the bed and following Mom out of the door. My stomach was in knots. That was our first kiss and Mom already caught a whiff of it… Wait a minute, was I thinking there was going to be more of them?
My eyes widened when I felt Noah’s fingers slide through mine briefly. I glanced at him and he smiled ruefully, then he let go and stepped down the stairs.
10
Grace age 13
Noah age 13
I wonder what Grace would say if I told her how much my mind stayed on her. Not just her body, it was her mind, her smile, her laugh… her future.
I wanted it all. Which meant I had to figure out mine. I had to have a future, something better than the trailer park kid that I am, something that gave me the chance to have her.
Grace is my destination, my goal.
I have two very important people to impress if I wanted to reach the future I picture every night. If I show my parents how to do right, I can save them from themselves too. Mom needs help. Dad needs motivation. I’ve never seen him work, but he gets a check every month that keeps the lights on. This body of mine is made for moving, these hands can’t ever stay still. Maybe if I show him how to be, he can be a better husband to Mom. I won’t ask for them to be better parents, just to be better to themselves.
N.P.
It was like I was seeing the world anew after the kiss I shared with Noah. I couldn’t even fall asleep that night and spent most of it looking out the window waiting for him to come. I didn’t know why. He only ever spent the night on my floor the nights his parents had people over.
The next morning, the waiting began again the moment my eyes opened. I was putting on my shoes by the door when Mom asked, “Where are you going?”
“I figured Noah would be here already, so I’m going to go see if he wants to come over and play games.”
“Wait for him to come over, you know your dad doesn’t like you going over there,” Mom said, and I sighed. I already knew that but it wasn’t like I didn’t sneak to get him anyway. I couldn’t with Mom knowing now.
“I hate waiting though,” I mumbled, and she laughed before dropping down beside me on the floor.
“Grace, about yesterday…” Mom drifted off. I knew this conversation was coming, I just didn’t want it to happen so soon.
“What?”
“I’m sure you know already… you and Noah are getting older and I just don’t want you two to make any of the wrong choices.” I didn’t say anything, I just looked down. “I know you two have something special, and I know Noah would never intentionally hurt you, Grace, but he might feel things and you might feel things.”