Page 23 of Fall From Grace

“Oh,” I mumbled. “No, I haven’t.”

“Let me show you how to make yourself feel good,” he told me with a kiss before he slid off to my side. Propped up on his elbow, he looked down at me as he ran his hand over my stomach.

I sucked in. “That tickles.”

Then he started to move his hands toward my shorts and I grabbed his hand to stop him. “If you don’t want me to touch you, let me show you with your hands,” he whispered. I brought my hand over my stomach where he placed his over mine, then he started dragging our hands inside my shorts. I lifted my head to see but Noah’s eyes were on mine, observing my reaction.

He lowered his lips to my ear. “Now… I’m going to press my fingers over yours to show you how to move your fingers.”

“Did you learn this from the videos?” I asked him. He nodded and pressed his fingers down. I gasped as he began making circular motions with mine and his fingers. It felt weird but a good weird, and when he nibbled on my ear, I felt it down there with our fingers. “I think I want you to kiss me, Noah,” I breathed just as his hungry mouth consumed mine.

Noah pressed his body into mine as we kissed and touched. He pulled away and lowered his mouth over my nipple before taking it in his mouth. I bucked when he did, his fingers slipped through mine and we both froze when he touched my flesh. Heat soared through me. Noah’s fingers were better than mine, I decided, and slowly pulled my hand out and when Noah began to do the same, I gripped his hand from doing so.

“I want you to,” I whispered.

He slipped his fingers back into my underwear and the sound that rose from his chest was louder than my own. “Grace…” But that was all he said before his mouth covered my nipple again and his fingers swirled circles over my flesh.

I moved my hips as Noah rocked into my side and kissed and teased me in ways that built something inside me. The closer it got, the more anxious I felt until it was too much. I grabbed his hand. “Noah, stop!” I cried softly. “Something’s coming—” My feet jolted when it did happen and I let my head fall onto the carpet as the aftershocks tickled my body until I jerked over and over until he finally stopped.

He kissed me when it was over and I smiled through the kiss. I felt like laughing because it felt so good but we had to be quiet. “Noah, that was…” I said through kisses.

He smiled then slowly raised up. “I know, you were beautiful, but I’ve got to go.” He stood quickly and I frowned. He covered his pants up but not before I saw the shape of him or the wet spot against his jeans.

“Did you not like it?” I stood up and covered my breasts.

He flicked my nose, something he constantly did after that one time I did it to him, and I grabbed it. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say, of course, I did.”

“Then…”

“Because I need to change… and check on my mom. Dad won’t stop her from taking anything.” He opened the window and stepped out into the night air. It was cold. “Come here.” I listened and grinned after he gave me another kiss. “Goodnight, Grace.”

“Goodnight, Noah.”

13

Grace age 13

Noah age 13

Life is steadily falling apart. I fight my own sleep to keep an eye on Mom. Every time I do sleep, I wake up to find her passed out somewhere and my blood feels more like ice as I shake and jerk her until she finally stirs. It’s only a short bit of relief because I know I’ll fight her same demon tomorrow.

I don’t like when Grace cries, especially when her tears are for me. I don’t ever want to be the reason for her tears.

N.P.

Noah didn’t come back to school until his black eye was gone. He hadn’t visited me anymore at night since the night he touched me last week, but he made some time to come over and talk to me for a few minutes every day. It wasn’t nearly enough but I didn’t want anything bad to happen to Noah’s mom either.

But I wondered how long he could keep her from her choices?

That Monday when he came back, Noah dodged and answered questions like a pro about why he hadn’t been at school. He didn’t tell the truth. Even when he told my parents, he made it sound like his mom hit him by accident, neither of them said anything about it but the way my dad watched him that day sent a bad feeling in my stomach, like maybe he waited for the day to Noah to end up like his parents.

It had been seven years since we moved to this town and it hadn’t taken half of those to learn the reputation of The Phillips. They lied, they stole, and they did drugs. When Dad’s weed-eater was stolen last year, the first person he had assumed it had been was Noah’s dad. And if I really looked closer, I saw the way he watched Noah since then. If I hadn’t begged Dad that day, I knew he would have gone over to their house and confronted them.

Maybe it had been since then, or the day that Noah became a teen, that Dad occasionally watched him with a penetrating stare. I wondered if Noah sensed the way he watched him sometimes.

That evening at dinner, Mom said, “Noah hasn’t been coming over a lot this week.”

I took a bite of my mashed potatoes. “He’s been busy.” I wouldn’t say things behind Noah’s back.