Page 18 of Reeve
I’m tempted to talk to her about everything, but how can I? Sawyer’s the only one of my siblings who knows I’m planning to leave. My older brothers and sisters, especially Harper and Tanner, are going to shit a brick when they find out. And I don’t want to put McKenna in the awkward position of having to keep a secret from her husband.
“Really. It’s nothing,” I tell her, glancing at the seat across from us, where Tanner and Madden are fast asleep. Tanner’s got his head thrown back against the seat rest, and Madden snores softly from his baby sling, snug against Tanner’s heart. My brother’s a great dad. No surprise there. He’s a great big brother, too. “Look at these two! Do you thinktheyenjoyed it?”
“I think they both had a great nap!” she says, putting her arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer. She’s shorter than I am and rests her head in the crook of my neck. “Sure you don’t want to talk about anything?”
What can I say that’s the truth, but avoids the subject of college?
“I just want more out of life. I can’t just be the ‘Stewart’s littlest sister’ forever, you know?” I keep my voice low, just in case Tanner’s pretending to sleep.
“No one expects you to be.”
“They do!” I cry. “They all expect me to be ‘little Reeve’ for the rest of my life.”
“Building boundaries is hard,” says McKenna. “But I find that when I tell people how I want—orneed—to be treated…as long as it’s reasonable, of course…people who care about me get on board pretty quick.” She sighs. “Maybe it’s just a matter ofyou letting them know that while you’ll always be theiryoungestsibling, you’re also an adult now.”
If only it was that easy.
“Maybe,” I mutter without much conviction.
Hoot! Hoot!
The train whistle lets us know that the depot is in sight, and Tanner sits up, rubbing his eyes. “What did I miss?”
“Most of the ride,” says McKenna, taking Madden out of the sling while Tanner stands up and stretches. He takes the stroller down from the overhead rack, unfolding it in the aisle as the train comes to a stop.
“What’d you think of the choo-choo, little sister?” Tanner asks me.
McKenna, who’s squatting in front of the stroller to strap in a still-sleeping Madden, jerks her head up to look at me.
“Whomp. There it is,” I say, rolling my eyes at her.
“What’d I do?” asks Tanner, looking back and forth between us. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Shut up, Tanner,” McKenna and I say in unison.
I walk my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew to their car, hugging and kissing them goodbye, and thanking them for paying for my train ticket. Tanner says he’ll see me at Parker’s house for dinner this weekend, and McKenna draws me close for a hug.
“Boundaries,” she whispers near my ear.
“The sooner the better,” I whisper back, waving goodbye as they speed away.
I think about doing some Christmas shopping as long as I’m in town, but I’m cold and feeling gloomy, so I decide to go home instead. As I make my way across the parking lot, I see Aaron leaning against my car, waiting for me.
“Hi,” I say.
“Hi,” he says.
His eyes scan my face as he pushes away from my car. He’s hurt. I get it.
“Listen, Aaron, before when we were talking, I was a little—”
“You’re wrong, Reeve. I think you’re so wrong.”
“About what?”
“About leaving home behind. Home is where the heart is. It’s definitely whereyourheart is. The chances of you going to Anchorage andnotbeing distracted by people from home? Next to none.”
“Well, I have to try, don’t I? I’m not a little kid anymore! I have to leave the nest, fly the coop, make a break for it! I need to get out there, into the wide world, and…and…and live my life!”