Page 108 of From Me to You

I didn’t say anything as I pulled away from him.

Jay stayed by my side the whole day because he didn’t have a recording session today. The entire time, we sat on the floor while I furiously penned in my pretty pink book. I wrote poems that I didn’t understand, words that did not belong together. I wrote and wrote till my wrist hurt. But it mindlessly kept me going, so I couldn’t stop myself.

I felt Jay watching me with a frown on his face as I became more and more unhinged. He was in his own writing session as he composed lyrical masterpieces. Sometimes he would stop writing and only play his Firebird until he created the perfect melody.

Writing used to be one of our favorite things to do. But now that we sat in silence, I felt the string that bound us slowly start to flicker away. We were like an old married couple whose relationship had run its course and were waiting for their divorce. Only how sad that ours just started and would have lasted a lifetime if not for the inevitable forces that tried to destroy us.

The rest of the month passed away exactly like this. I hardly spoke to Jay or anyone. But I held him tight every night, savoring that feeling I loved so much. It kept me sane.

During the day, he never left my side—he was always there, sitting with me patiently, not asking me a single question, not for the lack of trying on his part. He was still my kind and considerate boyfriend, trying to figure out what was going on inside my head. I was sometimes scared that he would somehow put it all together, but he hasn’t. Sometimes, though, I wished that he would put it all together so we could just run away from all of this. But that was selfish of me. Loving someone also meant sacrificing your life so that they could live. Jay would never know this, but everything I had done has always been and always would be for him.

CHAPTER 22

“I am going to Seatle,” I announced to Jay a couple of weeks later.

Jay paused mid-bite. We were all having dinner. The whole gang was with us, huddled up in the informal room. He kept asking me to go out with him, but I refused. I wanted to stay in, I said. I wasn’t in the mood, I said. But all I wanted to do was jump into his arms.

“Okay, I will go with you. I’m almost done with the recordings anyway.”

I shook my head. “I want to go there alone. Only for a few weeks, I will be back again.”

It was obviously White’s idea. It would create the perfect distance, she said. I had a huge argument with her on the phone when no one was home. But she wouldn’t relent. The band was releasing their first official single this week and she wanted me gone to make that happen. At this point, I had become her lifeless puppet doll.

I heard him inhale a deep breath. “Okay, Evelyn. Whatever you want.”

The rest of the room looked at us with wild eyes as if they were bracing for the gun to explode. Except for Katy and Mikey no one else tried to talk to me these days. Well, I didn’t respond to Katyand Mikey either, but they were relentless because they knew me—the real me.

I stood up abruptly from the couch. “I am going to pack. The flight is tomorrow morning,” I said as I rushed out the door, not waiting for anyone to reply.

I heard Katy say, “Emmie, you need to figure out what’s wrong with her. I know Evy, and I love her. But she is destroying you and all of us. She is acting like she hates us and like she can’t wait to get rid of us.”

“She is just stressed, Katy. She loves all of you,” Jay replied.

But I walked away before I could hear anything else. Because I needed to breathe. It was suffocating for me to be with all of them, especially him. But not for the reasons they think. It was because I knew I only had less than four more months to see his face, touch his face, and feel his presence while he gazed at me with love. After that, he was going to hate me for the rest of his life, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

“Woah.” A hand steadied me as I almost crashed into someone.

“Will.” I exhaled.

“Where are you rushing off, princess? Isn’t your boy toy with you?”

“He is eating,” I said as I started to walk toward my room.

“I didn’t think you had it in you.” He grinned, taking the liberty of walking alongside me. It looked like no one was ever going to let me breathe.

“What?”

“I thought you hated L.A. But with all the partying and the drinking it seems like you are having the time of your life.”

I opened the door to our room and ushered him in. Maybe this was a good opportunity to ask him for help. It was very rare that I found him alone.

Will raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t your man be mad that you invited me into your room?”

I rolled my eyes and pulled him inside, closing the door behind him.

“I brought you here so I could ask you something,” I said as I made my way to the humongous closet/bathroom that drove me mad.

I pulled out my small suitcase and a couple of clothes.