Page 45 of From Me to You

“You lied to me. You told me the show was canceled. But you canceled it. I can’t believe you lied to my face when you said that they called you.” I accused him.

“That’s what you are mad at,” he said, running his fingers through his smooth raven locks. “I am sorry I lied. But I am not sorry I did it. I knew you would react this way if I told you anything.”

“I would have been fine for two days, Jay. This was an important step in your career. To make it big. I know the guy from the Pacific Label was going to be there. Now it’s all gone because of me. Who knows when you are going to get your next big break? It could take years.” I cried out.

They were a major record label from L.A. that had so many big names signed. Katy told me a scout from their label was showing interest in the band, and he would come to watch them play live.

Jay locked his beautiful blues with mine. “I will worry about that. I knew what I was doing. I have been doing this for years, sweetheart. If not now, then some other time.”

“But you worked so hard for it!” I exclaimed.

“I know. I will work harder,” he said, looking ahead.

We walked to my doorstep in complete silence. “I want to be alone tonight,” I whispered as I turned the key on the fob and opened the door.

Aunty M was on her night shift again, so Jay usually stayed over. But I wanted to be alone. I want to contemplate my fears and the doubts clouding my head. The fear of losing him. The fear that he would leave me.

I faced him as I held the door.

“I am sorry,” he said softly.

I nodded as I closed the door behind me.

That night, I lay awake. Sleep was a distant thought. My brain went overdrive, and the thoughts and the fears, one after another, rushed into me. My heart was heavy. I did not know that one lie could down spiral me like this. I wasn’t even mad at him. I loved that he loved me. I loved what he did for me. I loved that he would continue to do it for me.

I shot up the bed as I realized that he would continue to do it for me. Jay may not have told me so much in words, but he had constantly shown me how much he loved me. I knew that as long as we were together, nothing else mattered. I knew that he would never leave me because I knew he felt the same as I did. Like he was a part of my soul.

Suddenly, I missed him. I realized how stupid I was to get mad at him. I missed the feeling of his warm embrace as I slept. I missed the smell of him. The smell of home. My Jay.

I got off the bed, gripping the crutches as I glanced at the clock—it was way past midnight, but I didn’t care. I wanted to see him now.

I climbed down the stairs as carefully as I could and rushed out the door. I was still in my pink butterfly PJs and fluffy slippers as I trotted to Jay’s house. I reached the small white garage that I knew he used as his room/practice space. There was a separate door on the side, apart from the main door to the actual house. I reached to the side as I peered through the small window near the door. The lights were still turned on. I watched Jay write something intensely on a piece of paper with his guitar on his lap. My beautiful boy. God, I missed him. Call me crazy, but he was my everything.

I knocked on the door. I heard a frustrated sigh followed by loud footsteps.

Jay opened the door, his face fixed in a hard frown. “Wh-?” He paused when he saw that it was me. “Sweetheart, what are you doing here?”

“I missed you.” My lips wobbled.

Jay was on me in a second as he lifted me up in his arms and took me inside. I clutched onto him, soaking in his delicious warmth. Home. I was home.

He slid me onto his bed and pulled me to his lap. His lips were on me in a heartbeat— my lips parted as he gave me a frantic kiss like he was drowning, and I was his last breath. His oxygen.

“I am sorry I yelled at you,” I whispered against his neck later that night.

“Don’t, sweetheart. You don’t have to apologize. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I promise I won’t lie to you after this,” he said, caressing my back.

“It wasn’t that. It was just that I got scared. When you lied to me, it hurt so bad. It terrified me. How much I love you. The fear that you will leave. And I will never be the same again,” I admitted softly.

Jay lifted my chin with his finger as he anchored his gaze on mine, penetrating my soul. “I would never leave you. If I leave you, it means my heart can no longer pump blood because my heart beats for you, sweetheart.” He kissed my forehead.

My heart did a somersault. Little did he know my heart beat for him too.

I woke up to a familiar, delicious warmth, a woody scent with a note of fresh air and sea salt. My Jay.

I peered around the garage as the bright daylight swept through the windows. It looked exactly as I last saw it. The full drum kit, alongside a huge keyboard, was pushed off to the far right near the door. A few guitars were neatly positioned on the wooden floor, leaning toward the wall. There were a lot of wires, amps, and microphones scattered everywhere.

Different band posters adorned the side wall with a small futon underneath, where the band hung out during breaks.