Page 91 of From You to Me

My heart started to pick up its beat. “I know exactly why she isn’t here. Because she doesn’t know that I’m here, and she’s not worried about the other girls you are with, Jay, because she knows the only girl you’ll run back to is me.”

“That’s enough, Evelyn. Stop this nonsense.”

“No, I won’t. I’ll scream it at the top of the Empire State if I’ve to. Do you know why? Because it’s the truth. Just because youdon’t believe it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. It doesn’t erase the hell that I went through while she played me like a doll. Do you know the distress and the constant state of agony I was in every day, Jay? Do you even understand that?”

“No, I don’t, Evelyn. Because then I don’t understand why the man you cheated on me with was in your apartment. If everything you said was true, that you were forced to go through with these things, then why was he there?”

It dawned then, that no amount of explanation and arguing was going to help this. One day, eventually he was going to learn the truth but I didn’t know if that day I would be willing to forgive him for treating me like this when I sacrificed my entire life and dreams for him.

“Let’s not argue,” I said, softly dragging my eyes back to my pasta. I was done going back and forth with him when I clearly knew it wasn’t going to lead anywhere that I liked.

A loud sigh escaped from him. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Only the sound of our forks clinking on our plates was heard afterward. We retired to our separate bedrooms; I pulled in Strawberry next to me. I usually didn’t allow her to be on the bed, but I needed someone by my side that night.

“Hey,” Jay called out just as I was scrolling through my phone while eating Cheerios.

“Hi,” I mumbled back before clearing my throat. “Actually, I’ve decided to move back to my apartment.”

He pinned me with his stare. “Evelyn, I told you it’s not safe there, and you can stay here as long as you want.”

“But I don’t want to stay here with you. I’m tired of all this. I thank you for dealing with David and T. I’ve changed the locks and fixed everything as much as I possibly could so it should be fine.”

“What are you tired of, Evelyn?” He sighed as he eased in beside me on the couch.

“I don’t want to argue. I feel drained being here, and I feel like I don’t really fit in here, Jay. I just wanna go back home.”

After a long minute of silence, he said, “I understand,” fixing his gaze ahead at the windows.

We sat there like this, moments of finality pulsing between us. He slowly slid his hand over to me and linked his fingers with mine.

I couldn’t help the blubber of tears that started to spill from my eyes. The drops caught on our joined hands.

“Evelyn,” he whispered.

I locked my glossy eyes with his. “I’m angry, Jay. I’m lost,” I sobbed. “I don’t even have a life. You may not believe me, but I sacrificed everything for you. I destroyed myself for you. Sometimes I wish I could’ve told you everything, and we could’ve just run away. I wish that I was selfish enough to choose me. But I loved you so much. So much so that it was the only thing I knew. I was a stupid fool in love with you, and I was willing to do anything for you, and I did. In the end, I’m hardly the girl I once was. Too ruined to even stand straight and have a life. Do you know the cruelest thing out of it all?” I wiped the flowing wetness from my eyes. “That I still love you. Even after everything, even after you want nothing to do with me, I still love you. How pathetic is that?”

“Hey”—he cupped my cheeks—“don’t cry.” He leaned in and brushed his lips across mine in the softest way possible, but I moved back. I didn’t want to get pulled back into this same cycle again. Even though my blood felt heavy with sadness, my heart was elated at the thought of freeing myself from all this pain.

His eyes widened a fraction. He knew I was really done at that moment because I’ve never pulled away from him.

“We never got the closure that we needed. That I needed anyway, you believed that I cheated and played you, and you moved on the only way you could. But I’ve carried the burden of what truly happened. It’s been eating me alive for all these years, but now I’ve made my peace. I’ve told you everything, and now it's finally time for me to go for good.”

His blues traced over every inch of my face as I wiped away all my tears. “You’re right. You should do what’s best for you. But I’ll always be there for you, Evy, no matter what. I promised Marie I would take care of you, and I vow to do that till the day I die. Maybe this being together wasn’t in the cards for us after all. I mean, we were two stupid teenagers who had no idea what love actually was. But we are adults now. We know better, and nothing stops us from being friends.”

“Friends, huh?” A laugh broke out of me, but I nodded. “I think it’s for the best too,” I whispered.

And we sat there, watching the rain weep from the skies as it drenched the city. It seemed like hours, but a version of closure and calm settled between us. Like a silent breeze that reassured you after a long day, I could feel it this time. The hope of recovering our lost love had finally died.

CHAPTER 21

JAY

She was gone.

Though she was only here for a week, the place felt empty somehow. Like all life had been drained from it. Was this how it used to be before? Was that how I’d been living before she came along?

In a cold, desolate empty cell.