Page 41 of Earl

“You are right. I am just being a bitch. Sometimes I get too possessive where you are concerned,” she admitted.

“Ah, that’s so sweet.”

“Bite me.”

“As soon as we get back to your place.” He grinned at her. “You look better.”

“I feel better. I was in the shower, and I had this pep talk. From now on, I am going to forget that someone who shall remain nameless and get on with my life.”

“Will Byron play a part in this resolve?”

She shrugged. “I like him.”

“But?”

“Not sexually. He tried to kiss me the other night after he brought me home and I turned my head away. I could see that he was hurt and confused, but I could not help it. I don’t feel that way towards him and I cannot force it.”

“Then perhaps you should tell him he is wasting his time. It’s not fair to be stringing him along.”

“I did tell him, but he wants to give me time,” she sighed sadly. “Life is so messed up. Here is a man who wants me, genuinely wants me and I cannot make myself want him back. What the hell is wrong with me?”

Reaching over, he put his hand over hers. “Absolutely nothing is wrong with you, and I would ask you kindly not to keep saying that.”

She laughed softly, her eyes dancing. “You really are good for me.”

“I am. Now, we need to discuss what you will be wearing to the Christmas gala next Saturday.”

Her response was a heartfelt groan. “Do I have to go?”

He looked at her in surprise. “What a question!”

*****

He had quit smoking years ago. After acknowledging to himself that it was an unhealthy habit, he had simply tossed the packets into the trash can and be done with it. He had only started an act of rebellion against his parents anyway and had not really enjoyed the habit.

But now, more than ever, he would kill to feel the nicotine inside his lungs. Lunch with his sister had been upsetting. She had forced him to remember things he had thought buried.

Awful memories that had plagued him for years. And yes, the holidays had a lot to do with his sour mood. Sitting behind his desk inside his home office, he had not bothered with any lights but was nursing the drink he had poured as soon as he entered the room.

He missed talking to Cathy. He missed hearing the sound of her sultry voice, the cadence, the texture, her wit, the way she had about herself that made him laugh.

He had decided from their last conversation that it was best to break things off before they got out of hand. He had fallen too hard and too fast. The conversation with Diana had been a wakeup call, one that they needed.

Desperation was making him do irrational things. He had to stop. Had to take a step back and proceed with caution. Evelyn was concerned that he was with Diana, but she should know him enough to realize that after what Diana had done to him, there was no going back.

He felt nothing for her. Whatever feelings had been there had died when he saw her with the guy. He could be with her and not feel a twinge of anything. It was over between them.

He knew she was hoping that he would change his mind, but there was no fear of that ever happening. He had her by his side as a plus one whenever the needs arose, and she was eager to please.

It was Cathy who occupied his every waking moment. The sound of her voice was haunting him, making it impossible for him to fall asleep.

He should call her. And say what?

“I am suspicious by nature and have been burned too many times to trust anyone, that’s why I haven’t called?”

She would probably run him off the phone. As it was, she had most certainly deleted his number and moved on. What was she doing? He wondered achingly. Had she hooked up with some other guy online and was now talking to him?

Was that other man enjoying the witting conversation, she had offered him? Were they even now meeting each other, going on dates?