Page 93 of Dear Mr. Brody

“Yes… right after we started dating, actually. I get tested every three months or so if I’m… active.” I squeezed his thigh when he lowered his eyes. “Hey… what are you thinking?”

“That I ruined the moment. I have no idea what I’m doing, and you’re experienced, and I feel out of my depth. What you just did, it felt…” He fell back onto the pillow and covered his eyes with his arm. “It felt fucking amazing, and all I could think was, God, I want this, I want more, but then—”

“I had to go and slip my thumb up your ass?”

He started to laugh, his entire body shaking with it.

“Yeah,” he said, lowering his arm, he caught his breath. Van sat up, resting his hands on my hips and dusted his thumbs over my skin as he spoke. “I want to… with you, and I know you like being the top, and I think I could, but I—”

“Do I prefer the top? Sure. But what I prefer the most is for you to be comfortable in what we do. You didn’t ruin the moment, I’m always hot for you.” I grinned as I held his face between my palms. “I want to kiss you, though. But if you’d rather me not because I—”

“Kiss me.”

And I did.

I kissed him until his breathing evened out, until his lips were swollen when I pulled away.

“When you say prefer…”

I chuckled as I lowered my hands to his neck. “I like getting fucked too. I’m versatile like that.”

Hell, his cheeks turned fire engine red. “Oh…”

“In fact, if you wanted, you could have all of this…” I waved my hand along the length of my chest to my dick. “Right now, if you asked me nicely.”

His fingers pressed into my hips as a crooked smile lifted his lips. “Tonight?”

“Yup, all you have to do is ask, Van.”

He brushed his mouth over mine, his tongue licking the seam of my lips, and I opened for him. Blood rushed to my groin again, filling me, bringing me right back to the flash point. The thought of giving myself to him, without any barriers, no condoms, I’d never done that before, it made my heart gallop.

“I want you,” he whispered into the curve of my neck, kissing his way to my shoulder and back to the spot below my ear. “I just… I don’t know how to—”

“I do.”

I stole another kiss before I crawled off the bed. I’d left my jeans hanging over his desk chair. I dug into my back pocket, feeling his eyes on my skin as I pulled out my wallet. I opened it and smiled as I found the small packet of lube I’d stashed behind my insurance card last Pride. I’d gotten it at one of the booths, it was supposed to taste like donuts or something equally ridiculous. I didn’t care. It only needed to serve one purpose. I made my way back to the bed, packet in hand, and laughed at the wide-eyed look on Van’s face.

“What’s that?” he asked as he rested his back against the headboard.

I straddled him again and grinned when his hands immediately went for my hips, his thumbs making those familiar passes over my flesh.

“Lube.”

He swallowed.

“I see.”

I kissed his cheek and then tore open the packet with my teeth. “Don’t look so worried.”

“You remember the whole I’ve never been with a guy thing, right?”

“I think I can recall you mentioning something about that,” I said and placed another soft kiss on his lips.

Squirting the lube into my hand, I reached between us. Slick and easy, I glided my palm up and down his shaft, coating every inch of him until he was breathing hard against my lips. His hands fell to the cheeks of my ass, spreading them as he pulled me closer. His finger grazed my crack, and I moaned into his mouth.

Breaking our kiss, he found my eyes, and said, “I want to know what it feels like to be inside you.”

“I want to feel you too.”